


The Devil's Snare

by addict_writer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Bottom Brian, Jealousy, M/M, Out of Character, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 10:31:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6607447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This spin-off from New York State of Mind is about discovering and understanding Evan Steele. Is he really the Devil? Is there more to him than his cunning nature? What are his feelings about the trip to Miami?  If you didn't read New York State of Mind, this might not make sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything. All right reserved to their respective owners.
> 
> You will find more insight from the last pre-show book (Always Have, Always Will by Quinn Brockton) in this little story, if you may...there are spoilers.

Evan Steele stepped into Gladstone Gallery, unsure what exactly lured him there.

It was true that Raging Bull's new bartender had him captivated, and when he'd heard about his extracurricular hobby, Evan decided the see if Justin was indeed a good artist.

There were a few articles about him being praised. It didn't escape Evan that Justin was also from Pittsburgh like himself.

Inside the gallery, it wasn't difficult to track down the young man. Everyone was swarming around the area where Justin's paintings were displayed.

To Evan's surprise, Justin was wrapped around a man, kissing him with ardor. He was sure Justin had made up his boyfriend/fiancé, thus he'd keep Evan at arm's length. To actually see a real man in Justin's life put a damper on his plan to bed the boy. Of course, Evan never backed down from a challenge.

He found himself teasing Justin about his public display of affection, only to have the wind knocked out of him when the other man turned around.

Brian Kinney.

Evan would recognize Brian from a million men. Brian had been his assistant back in Pittsburgh, where he'd worked as the creative director at the local office for Inverness/Muir of the prestigious agency from Madison Square with the same name. Brian had eventually become his assistant creative account manager.

They didn't get along from the very beginning, but the more time Evan spent around Brian and the more the boy drove him crazy, the more attracted to him he got. It also helped how hot-headed and opinionated Brian was, resulting in window-rattling fights.

Brian accepted all the shit Evan threw at him, not questioning why his desk was a table in the lunch area, the boy even bought him sandwiches when Evan voiced that he was hungry (obviously, not the top class restaurant food Evan actually thrived), always working hard to prove to his boss that he'd be an amazing account manager one day.

Evan found himself poking Brian just to see him get angry, when in reality all the boards he created were exactly what Evan had in mind, if not more.

Until their accumulated tension exploded on the trip to Dallas. To that day, Evan wasn't sure why he changed his plans and took Brian with him, but he couldn't regret his decision.

He got to know Brian better, in a way he couldn't have known him at the office. The little things that made Brian smile, the way he dutifully respected Evan's wish to not be part of the after party with the clients even though it annoyed him, which all culminated with Brian salivating for his dick.

Once back in their suite, he remembered Brian bitching about Evan's behavior and about being inhuman and how he'd overestimated him, then they were in the bathtub, half-dressed.

Evan could clearly remember hurriedly undressing and carrying Brian to the marble sink. He also remembered the sex was about power and submission and control and surrender. Up until they fucked for the first time, Evan had pegged Brian as a top, but seeing him almost handing himself to Evan on a silver platter, had changed his mind. Brian had always praised him and respected him.

That way started their arrangement. Evan knew Brian wasn't pleased, but he couldn't care less. Brian was the best bottom he had up until that moment and when they stayed late at the office, he was the first available willing hole. Evan could find anyone he wanted without even opening his mouth to ask, but Brian was convenient. Though, when the opportunity to leave The Pitts arose, Evan was on the first plane out of there. He'd grown to care for Brian, but a tight ass wasn't going to keep him in that hell-hole of town.

So seeing Brian after so many years was a shock and a pleasure.

Evan fought amusement at Brian's reaction, he seemed choked up.

"Brian Kinney!" Evan pulled him close, hugging him tightly. _My boy has grown up_ , he mused. Under the designer clothes, Evan could feel a toned body. The fragrance of Brian's cologne let him know that he'd developed amazing tastes, like he'd presumed.

"Evan, long time, no see," he managed to say.

"Thirteen years," Evan declared, unsure why he knew the exact amount of time.

His previous interest in the blond now by Brian's side was gone. Whatever words they exchanged were meaningless to Evan as he was once again around his favorite boy. It felt like being reunited with a dear and lost toy.

While Justin was busy with the curator, Evan enjoyed the few minutes alone with Brian.

"You've grown up," Evan found himself saying.

Brian fought against a smile. "That's redundant, Evan. I still had a two in front of my age, the last time you saw me. Hell, even Justin looks better at this age than I did back then."

"You're still slim, but I see you're visiting the gym regularly," Evan praised, placing a hand on Brian's elbow.

"Thanks." Brian smiled brightly, always taking praises about his body the best. "I can see age hasn't changed you much."

Evan snorted. "That's a polite way to say I haven't turned into a wrinkled monster?"

"It's the truth, Evan. Even I am aware that in a few years wrinkles and gray hair will be something normal, though I dread them and invest in the best anti-aging products. You're holding up well for forty... _five_?" Brian raised an eyebrow, not sure if he got the correct age.

"Fuck you, Kinney. I'm still forty-two, for a few more months, at least."

Brian clapped him on the back, laughing. "Sorry. I get it. Age is a sensitive subject with me, as well."

"Ain't it with everybody?"

"Not all of us have to worry about it...for another decade or so." Brian looked across the room and smiled at Justin. "But of course, some simply don't have to worry about it because they were blessed with natural good looks." He smirked.

Evan laughed, shaking his head. He had no idea how much he'd missed Brian until he had him in front of him, chatting and joking.

From the moment he purchased the insanely overpriced painting of Brian's toned back and perk ass, Evan made it his goal to at least bed Brian once again. For old time's sake.

Over the course of the following week, he rebounded with Brian, ultimately luring him away from his Bossy Bottom, as Justin had introduced himself with a smirk. The trip to Miami couldn't have come at a better time, and hearing Brian wanted to branch out, Evan jumped at the opportunity. Brian fell into his net without any hard work on Evan's side.

To Evan it didn't matter that Brian was a Mighty Top these days, or that he seemed to think he was in love. Evan didn't care if Brian had been fucking Justin for years, which resulted in his crazy idea of being in love, because of what he'd gathered they were allowed to fuck around.

During the plane ride to Miami, Evan told Brian all the dirt he should know about the big companies in the city. Evan wanted Brian to succeed in winning them over, but he knew Brian's amazing reviews and it scared him. Kinnetik had more success in its less than an year activity than Magnetic Steel had in the first two years. Evan kept telling himself it was because Brian didn't have great competition in Pittsburgh, but he knew of a couple of companies in the Pitts that could kneel some so-called top companies in New York City.

Brian jotted down every detail. With every word he wrote, the panic inside him rose, making him realize what an idiot he was for heading to such an important meeting without anything prepared. He was going to fax Theodore his notes and hope his old friend was able to help on such short notice.

The weather that greeted them in Miami was ripped from horror movies scenario.

Brian made sure to sent his fax from the airport, before joining Evan and heading to the hotel.

"A cab?" Brian snorted.

"I didn't want to intimidate the competition with a limo," Evan said smoothly.

As they slid in the backseat, Evan smirked, catching Brian's eye. "Why, does it bring back memories?"

Brian rolled his eyes, fishing for his phone. He made to call Justin and let him know he'd arrived safely when he noticed there was no signal. "You've got to be kidding me."

Evan leaned closer and noticed Justin's name on the screen of Brian's phone. "Couldn't wait to call your hellcat until we reached the hotel?"

"Fuck off, Steele. Besides, there's no reception. Do you suppose the hotel has Internet access? I have to talk to Theodore about my presentation."

"They should, but with this weather, we never know."

At the hotel, after checking in, Evan left Brian to his pre-meetings agitation. He knew without a doubt that most of his fellow ad world CEOs would agree with him and give Kinnetik a shot at joining them without fear of having accounts stolen or winning them in some dirty ways. Of what Evan had gathered, Brian had quite the portfolio.

Over the following days, Evan came up with a plan on how to have Brian in his arms, even for one more night.

Brian was the last to plead his case so to speak, showing them facts and even some story boards for ads he'd made for his accounts. His competition hadn't come with facts; it was mostly empty words that they would prove themselves and wouldn't think of snatching the older companies' accounts. Evan had to deal with such a small company recently, snagging one of his best accounts, and he was fearful of such liars. But most of all, Brian's company scared him to no end. He could win anyone fair and square if he wanted. That was why he voted against him, being the only one to do so.

Many hours after their last meeting took place, Evan went to the bar. He was surprised to find Brian there with a glass and his phone. The last part wasn't a shock, because the man had been attached to his phone, trying to get in contact with his hellcat.

Evan knew he couldn't use any of his usual pick-up lines with Brian, because Brian himself had turned into the predator over the years and knew every trick in the book. He had to be smooth and determined in his way to convince Brian to join him in his room for the night.

Brian was onto him, turning his words around and reminding him that Justin was his boyfriend, whom he loved. Evan was getting sick of hearing the words boyfriend and fiance.

When his attempt at seducing Brian at the bar failed, Evan downed a few more whiskey glasses, before heading to Brian's room.

Luck was on his side when he saw one young man from the hotel staff about to knock on Brian's door, holding a bottle of Champagne. He intercepted the boy, explaining they were going to have a very private celebrating. The boy blushed furiously, stepping away.

Evan knocked a couple of times. Brian answered, impatiently chiding him, only to figure out it wasn't anyone from the hotel staff at his door. Evan took in the sight of Brian wrapped in the white terrycloth bathrobe the hotel provided, looking freshly showered, and much more relaxed than in the past few days. He figured he'd managed to talk to his hellcat.

When Brian allowed him in his suite, Evan rejoiced at how easy it had been to gain entrance.

Evan followed Brian to the wet bar where Brian was pulling out two glasses.

"Remember when you attacked me in the bathroom? You were so hot. You thought you'd be in charge," he breathed into Brian's ear. Being near him brought a wave of desire for Evan.

"I think I mentioned that I was a silly assistant back then. Too young and stupid to understand your real nature."

"You were pretty smart, trust me. I wouldn't have wasted my time with you, otherwise." Evan placed the bottle next to the glasses, swiftly untying Brian's bathrobe. He knew that actions were going to be the only way to get Brian to fall in his arms. Words had failed him so far, but Brian couldn't deny his touches.

"What are you doing?" Brian wrapped the bathrobe closer around his body, turning his head to glare at Evan.

Evan was surprised, yet amused at how difficult it was to get Brian to cave.

"You still got the perkiest ass I've seen." Evan squeezed it for good measure, making Brian lean into his touch, resting his head back on Evan's shoulder. "I bet you miss having someone pound into you. You hellcat can't give you this."

"Actually, Justin is an excellent top. I suggest you leave, Evan." Brian defended his hellcat, attempting to distance himself from the danger that Evan proved.

"My, my. You learned a thing or two from your bossy bottom. I love it when they play hard to get, though I never had that problem with you."

"Evan, I swear to God. Leave!" Brian snapped.

"Or what?" Evan challenged, snatching Brian's bathrobe open. One hand brushed over the hardening cock. "Your dick seems to remember we used to have a nice connection."

"My dick reacts to any kind of male attention. I trained it well."

Evan fisted Brian's dick, pumping it steadily.

"Evan," Brian groaned, still fighting him, but not as vehemently as before. "Fuck. Stop."

"He's not here. Don't tell me you're this cute couple who swore to never fuck around." Evan smirked mockingly. He ran his thumb over the slit, feeling Brian shudder.

"Not with you!"

"What's wrong with me? You seemed to like me just fine thirteen years ago." Evan backed Brian into the bar, never stopping jerking his dick. "You want this." He pushed his hard on against Brian's ass, breathing harshly into his ear.

"Fuuuck...feels so good. Don't... _Stop._ " Brian was still fighting him, but Evan knew he already had him.

He knew that even though Brian had a relationship with Justin, he'd be under him, legs spread, before the night ended.

Evan had analyzed their relationship over the times he'd seen them together, and he was sure that no matter how much they insisted that they loved each other, it was okay for one of them to fuck around.

He could have easily convinced Justin to have a night with him, before he found out Brian was his boyfriend. In that moment, he all but forgot Justin and his bubble butt. Brian had always been a weakness of his, and Evan hated being weak.

"I don't plan on stopping," Evan promised, kneeling in front of Brian. "Did I ever suck your cock? I don't remember. I bet you taste divine." He licked the length of Brian's erection, wrapping his lips around the tip and sucking. The heady scent invaded Evan's nostrils as he dived in. He rarely sucked cock, and Brian was one of the privileged to have his lips around their dick.

"Jus-tin!" Brian cried out.

Evan pulled back, angry Brian was still somehow thinking of his hellcat. While his lips were working his cock, no less.

"Now, focus on this. It's Evan, not that hellcat of yours."

"Stop, for fuck's sake! Evan, I can't do this to Justin." Brian made another half-hearted attempt at pushing Evan away, but all he managed to do was wrap his fingers in Evan's hair.

"He doesn't have to know." Evan ran his hands on the back of Brian's strong thighs, ducking his head to lick at Brian's balls.

"Stop touching me already. I can't think straight."

"Good, because there's not a straight bone in your body." He focused on sucking the left ball.

"I love Justin," Brian insisted.

"No one is denying that." Evan glanced up at him, smiling.

"Why did you say we were going to work together?" Brian's attempt at changing the subject almost made Evan laugh. He wasn't about to divulge his secret. He had a solid plan to keep Brian around once they returned to New York.

Evan answered by taking Brian in his mouth until his lips touched Brian's pelvic bone. He backed before his gag reflex could kick in, but his action had done the trick. Brian's hands brought him closer, bucking into his mouth and cursing.

He focused on giving Brian the greatest pleasure, and by the sounds coming out of Brian's mouth, he was on the edge. It took Evan's skilled finger probing Brian's hole to remember how tight the man was.

Evan thrust one of his hands up for Brian to suck his finger, and he did so dutifully. Next, he used the saliva coated finger to breach Brian. He found the prostate in one swift, skilled movement.

Brian filled Evan's throat with jerky movements, his whole body shaking from the powerful orgasm.

Unsteady on his feed, Brian stumbled to the couch, falling on it. He covered his face with his hands, ashamed of what he'd allowed to happen.

Evan adjusted his painful erection, knowing that soon he'd be buried inside Brian's tight ass. He popped open the bottle of Champagne, foregoing the glasses, and drinking straight from the bottle. He passed it to Brian, who glared at him, before taking a huge gulp.

"I'm going to Hell." Brian toyed with the tie of his bathrobe.

His words brought another round of arguing about Brian's hellcat.

Evan couldn't understand the appeal of bringing his boyfriend up every other word. He thought Brian knew him better than that. Hearing Justin's name wasn't going to stop him from getting what he wanted, more so, it would make him want Brian's ass even more.

Then Brian exploded, shouting, "I never promised Justin monogamy, but I promised him I wouldn't fuck you. He fucking trusts me!"

That made Evan smirk. They'd talked about him. Probably Justin had brought up the subject, getting jealous of all the attention being switched to Brian. Oh, the little hellcat had no idea what he was capable of.

"You're not breaking your promise. I'm doing the fucking," Evan told him confidently.

His words aggravated Brian, making him run and hide into his bedroom. Like a door could keep them apart.

Evan followed him, seeing Brian rubbing at his eyes. Crying? Brian didn't strike him as the kind of man to tear up over a blow job.

"Is that a tear?" Evan teased.

What he didn't expect was for Brian to jump him, knocking him down. The fell over a chair before hitting the floor.

Evan was shocked to see how angry Brian was, and for the first time he contemplated the level of trust and how strong Brian and Justin's relationship was. Though, it didn't steer him away from what he wanted.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you," Brian spat, his eyes blazing with fury.

Evan knew that more than anything Brian was scared of his deepest, darkest desires, which he was still fighting. He was curious of what it would be to have Evan again, and Evan knew it.

"It's okay to be scared, Brian. I know you want it. I know you promised fidelity to your hellcat, but he's not here." Evan used a quiet, even tone, not wanting to scare Brian even more.

Brian slammed his fist next to Evan's head, making him jump startled. "Can you have the decency to at least stop bringing Justin up every five seconds?"

"Feeling guilty?" Evan teased.

"Feeling like the shit that I am." Brian rolled off Evan, laying next to him on the carpet.

"When's the last time you bottomed?"

Brian covered his face with his hands, clawing at his skin. "It's none of your business."

"You mentioned that spitfire of yours fucks you quite often," Evan insisted, curious of how often Justin had the chance to top Brian, who seemed to have turned into quite the top over the years. Evan couldn't imagine Brian topping, because all he knew was Brian's perky, white ass and its tightness.

Brian sat up, straddling Evan's thighs. "Stop. Talking. About. Justin!" He shouted.

"Yet, I don't see you throwing me out of your room."

Evan fought a smile when Brian scrubbed at his face.

"Admit it. You're curious. You still feel something." Evan sneaked a hand in Brian's hair, pulling him down. He had to taste those lips. Kissing was usually something he didn't allow often, but with Brian, he knew it would fuel the passion.

Brian turned his head, making Evan's lips collide with his jaw. Evan's eyes flew open, surprised at the lengths Brian was going to resist him.

"Don't kiss me."

Of course, they probably had rules about kissing other people. Evan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Brian had turned all hetero for his hellcat, but it wouldn't last for too long.

"Aw, that's so sweet," Evan cooed sarcastically. "Now, fuck your hetero rules and kiss me." Holding Brian's head in his hands, he pressed their lips together.

Brian struggled for a moment, before sighing in defeat when he felt Evan's tongue probing his lips open. He even deepened the kiss when he felt Evan's tongue against his.

Evan reciprocated, kissing Brian back with ardor, enjoying having his boy – now a man – back in his arms. There had been many after him, of course, but no one else had evoked such feelings from him. No one had managed to irk him to no end, yet make him want to fuck them until he passed out.

"I missed you too, Brian." Evan's words broke the spell.

Brian pulled away, feeling infinitely guilty for being so weak when it came to Evan.

Evan watched the tears threatening to spill from Brian's eyes, the hurt and pain evident on his face, and for the first time he entertained the idea of ending what he'd started before they went too far.

He was about to voice his decision, albeit reluctant, when Brian stood up, helping him to his feet as well, before untying his bathrobe slowly.

"It's going to happen only once. And that's it. Never again." Brian let the bathrobe pool at his feet, silently offering himself to Evan.

"Never is a long time." Evan stroked Brian's cheek, brushing one stubborn tear away.

"Deal with it." He watched as Brian tore the duvet off the bed, crawling in the middle, throwing the pillows to the floor. "And Justin is NEVER to hear about this. I'll murder you if he finds out."

Already keeping secrets from his hellcat? Evan couldn't understand the big deal of them fucking that could affect Justin, but if it was Brian's wish, so be it.

"Now who's bringing him in the discussion?" Evan stood at the foot of the bed, stroking his dick through his pants. He'd miraculously remained clothed, but he was going to remedy that in a moment.

Brian chucked the bottle of lube to Evan, who caught it swiftly, smirking.

"I'd like a slight change in our agreement." Once naked, Evan crawled over Brian's body. "I'm going to get my fill of you until we leave. That's two more days. Clothes are optional and overrated."

He could see the panic in Brian's eyes, but his desire wasn't masked that well.

"I think..."

"...that's a wonderful idea," Evan hinted, tracing a finger over the length of Brian's body.

"I don't..."

"Brian, resistance is futile. You want this. We agreed on that." As he spoke, Evan poured liberal amounts of lube on his fingers, slowly breaching Brian. As tight as ever. Evan could bet all his money that Brian seldom allowed Justin to top, because otherwise it wouldn't explain the resistance he encountered.

"E-e-van!"

"I know. It feels good."

Evan took his time to stretch Brian, not wanting to hurt him. He wanted Brian to feel pleasure when they fucked, not cringe in pain.

When he deemed Brian ready, Evan felt around in the nightstand drawer for a condom, thanking the hotel for being fully prepared.

With one last look at Brian, he brought his ass on his lap, angling his dick with the fluttering hole. For a brief second, Brian seemed ready to have a panic attack, but it went away when Evan leaned for a kiss.

"Fuck!" They both cursed when Evan pushed into him.

"You feel so tight."

"You feel so big," Brian joked, his breath hitching.

"Ready?"

"While I'm still young...and you still alive." Brian wrapped one leg around Evan's waist. "Just fuck me."

"Impatient?" Evan pulled out all the way, before slamming into Brian, who arched off the bed, groaning in pleasure. "I still know how to extract those sounds out of you."

"Don't stop."

"I'm not planning on ever stopping, Brian." Evan braced on either side of his head, claiming his mouth in a deep kiss as he started fucking him, making up for the too many years spent apart.

Brian's hands were everywhere, Evan's name falling like a mantra from his lips, as he met him thrust for thrust.

The connection between them and the spark was still there, and Evan wondered if it was possible to reignite the fire within Brian. The chances for this to happen once they returned to New York were slim, close to none, the reason he decided to make the most of their limited time together. He was going to get his fill of Brian, making up for the lost years, and when they returned, he would try to understand that Brian had grown up and had a serious relationship with his hellcat. Until then, he had almost forty hours of enjoying the man.

.

.

.

After round three, Brian lit himself a cigarette after returning from the bathroom. He found Evan in the same position he'd left him, sprawled on the bed, breathing harshly.

"Tired, old man?" He laughed, gathering his bathrobe.

"We talked about getting dressed, Kinney. Clothes are optional."

"I'm going on the balcony. You can take your grandpa nap."

Brian rested his forearms on the railing, staring at the ocean and contemplating what he'd done. There was a big part of him regretting it, hating that he couldn't put a stop to the insanity, but a smaller part of him was happy of the situation he found himself in, had won. It was absurd how someone he thought long forgotten and filed away as standard for all relationships...making him believe they were all doomed to fail, had such an impact on him. After over a decade apart, in which he'd probably thought of Evan a total of number of times countable on one hand, there he was, waltzing back into his life and creating havoc.

As Brian inhaled nicotine, he thought of the best way to proceed when he returned to Justin. He should tell him, Justin had the right to know what a shit Brian could be, but on the other hand, Brian was afraid to tell him. They were in a point in their relationship where they were so strong, almost invincible. If Brian confessed his deed, Justin was surely to break them to pieces and possibly never speak to him again.

The options were taking to the grave such a burden of secret, or hurting Justin on a level he couldn't even comprehend.

"Fuck," Brian spat, rubbing at his temple.

"You say the word, and I deliver," Evan said from behind, startling Brian.

"What do you want?"

"We have an agreement."

"No, we don't. I guess three times is enough. You should leave. The damage is already done," Brian muttered, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Exactly, what's a few more times?"

"First of all, this has gotten way out of hand." Brian gestured between them. "Second, as you guessed, I don't do this very often."

Evan frowned, stepping closer and palming Brian's ass over the bathrobe. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, though I'm putting a stop to this."

Evan reached in front of the bathrobe, fisting Brian's dick. "I'm not done with you," he breathed into his ear. "Not in the least."

"Well, I am. With you." Brian pushed Evan's hand away, stubbing his cigarette to the ashtray on the balcony, before heading back into his suite. "It's time you leave, Evan. And remember, no one is to know about this."

Evan pushed Brian back, making him lose footing and fall on the bed. "You're too damn cute when you think you have the upper hand. You're forgetting it's me in front of you, not… anyone else," he averted when Brian glared. "You can suck my dick, you know...to let your ass rest for a while."

"So considerate of you." Brian rolled his eyes, shoving Evan off him. "Now, get the hell out of here before I give you a sore ass from my foot meeting it up close and personal."

Evan took off his boxers, which he'd slipped in before joining Brian to the balcony. He took Brian's hand, wrapping it around his erection, slowly stroking.

They maintained eye-contact for a long while—Brian glaring and Evan daring him to deny his desire of more sex together.

Angry at his zero self-control, Brian trapped Evan under him on the bed, fisting his dick furiously. When he was upset on such a level, Brian preferred his relief to be sexual, during a wild fucking.

Momentarily forgetting he was dealing with Evan, who Brian had only dreamed of topping in his younger years, Brian flipped him over. When he uncapped the lube, Evan jerked under him, twisting around.

"What the fuck, Kinney?"

Brian's eyes widened, his heart beating erratically. He swallowed back one jerk-move answer threatening to spill from his lips. He never apologized to anyone about anything.

"I'm not one of your tricks, to manhandle this way. I don't bottom. Not for you, not for anyone else."

"Everyone started off as a bottom," Brian said in challenge.

Evan leaned back on his elbow, looking into Brian's eyes. "It happened three times. I was eighteen and nineteen when I allowed someone to top me. I didn't like it. I had to be in control."

"That's arguable, Steele. Being a top is not all about control. Well, not when you're doing it with the right person."

"And here we are again talking about your hellcat."

"Maybe me mentioning Justin so much should prove to you how much I love him." Brian got out of the bed. "I'm going to shower. Alone, mind you."

.

.

.

To Brian's surprise, Evan was gone when he was done in the bathroom. His relief was short-lived.

There was a note on the bed, telling him to meet him in the lobby when he was finished.

Brian pondered what was smarter to do...head into another trap, getting deeper in the hole he'd dug for himself, or ordering in, considering he was famished.

It was late evening, so he called the reception to bring him up a Caesar salad. After eating, he went to bed, but was so disgusted with himself and what he'd done that he ended up sleeping on the couch.

In the morning, he woke up to a clearer sky, but still raining.

He was about to check his phone when the door of his suite opened. Evan let himself in, holding a tray with breakfast.

"Did you steal my access card? That's fucked, Steele."

"Good morning to you too. Aren't you a ray of sunshine?"

"Fuck you!" Brian breezed past him, but snatched a bagel off the tray. He went to the balcony, only to realize the rain made it impossible to stay there, unlike the other day.

"I waited for you last night. You never came."

"Why would I do that? Look, it had been fun, but I guess that's it."

Evan snorted. "You're fooling yourself again. We still have a few hours before we leave. I will respect your wish to stay away when we get back...though working together might be counterproductive. Remember the way we got riled up and next thing, you ended up on the desk with your legs in the air?"

"That won't happen now. We won't work together. Stop saying that."

"We will, and you know it. But that's in the future. Let's focus on now and the few hours we still have to enjoy each other."

Brian slumped on the bed, placing the bagel on the nightstand.

Evan crawled behind him, rubbing his shoulders. "Do you plan on wearing only this bathrobe for the rest of your stay here?" He pulled the collar to the side to kiss Brian's neck.

"Yes. I won't take it off again."

Evan untied the knot, pushing the sides of the bathrobe open, running his hands over Brian's chest, all the while kissing his neck and bare shoulders, now with the cloth hanging off his biceps.

Brian's phone buzzed on the nightstand, making both of them jump in the air.

It took Brian a beat to realize what was happening. He had signal. Justin was calling.

He shoved Evan off him, lunging for his phone on the other side of the bed.

Evan grabbed it, throwing it to Brian. In his haste, the phone missed his hand by a few inches, landing on the floor.

"That was my phone," Brian gasped, snatching his phone from the hardwood. Murphy's Law had acted, because the phone had the screen cracked.

" _Was_ being the key word." Evan laughed, though he felt bad for breaking Brian's phone.

"Get off! It's still lit up. Justin!" Brian pressed the device to his ear.

He couldn't hear anything from the other end of the line.

Evan pulled the phone from him, checking if it was still working. He tried going to main menu, earning loud protests from Brian. They wrestled for the phone, and it fell on Brian's lap. When Evan made to take it to further inspect it, he brushed Brian's dick.

"Stop, Evan! You broke it. I can't hear anything. Oh, fuck... STOP. Mhmm... oh, God."

The screen went black, and Brian fisted his hand around the device, ready to hurl it to the ground. Evan caught his hand in his.

"Don't destroy it further. Let's see if it still works."

"It doesn't. You killed it."

"It seems this little wrestle got you all riled up." Evan wrapped his hand around Brian's dick.

"My phone!" Brian shouted, slapping at Evan's wandering hands.

"Use mine."

"I bet you'd love to have Justin's number. In your dreams."

"Territorial much?"

"I don't share my toys."

"That's not what I heard."

"My policy is one fuck only. Except when it comes to Justin, of course," Brian said, shaking his phone. There was a crack in the middle of the screen. It blinked back to life if only for a second, before shutting off. "Fucking piece of shit."

Evan saved the phone before it could meet the floor again, for the second time. "Don't take it out on it. I swear, I didn't mean to send it flying to the floor."

"Well, you did. Do you have any idea how worried he's been?" Brian's eyes fell on the land line phone. He grabbed the cordless receiver, dialing, cursing himself for not thinking of that sooner.

It went straight to voice-mail. "Sunshine, my phone is broken. I feel like some higher force is keeping us from talking. Listen, I'll see you in a few hours. My plane lands at six... I miss you."

"How touching." Evan snorted when Brian hung up.

"Fuck off, Steele."

"Do you want me to buy you a new phone?"

"I want you to...stop interfering. We're going back. This stops here. It has been...a fun couple of days."

"Fun? It's been the best days I had since I left you in my condo."

"Evan, for fuck's sake. Stop. We're done."

Evan took the hint and got dressed before leaving the suite.

He had no clue of the kind of damage he'd done, but he couldn't care less about his actions had affected Justin. If he expected Brian to resist him on this trip, then he was a fool.

As their return home drew nearer, he started feeling guilty at the consequences of his action. He became aware that Brian would probably have a fight with Justin, and Brian would agree to whatever terms Justin put so they could keep their relationship. The most important rule would be to never see or have any kind of contact with Evan. It would be extremely difficult to know Brian was in New York and not try pursuing him again, even for a drink out as friends.

The more time that passed, the more Evan realized he'd probably blown all his chances to have Brian in his life with his big ego and ambition to fuck him again.

He arrived late at the airport, after dropping by at the first available Apple store. He purchased the newest device, something even he didn't own. It was his way to apologize to Brian, and if they were to never see each other again, he'd at least have that gift from him.

In the plane, Evan was relieved to find the seat next to Brian empty. He expected a huge tantrum about the extravagant gift, but Brian surprised him by thanking him quietly, before going back to staring out the window, sulking.

The more he looked at Brian, the more Evan realized the damage he'd done. He never meant to hurt Brian in any way.

His fears were cemented when they reached New York. He refused to leave Brian on his own, expecting the worst when he confronted Justin.

Izzy's words and the way she attacked Brian, shouldn't have surprised Evan, but what surprised him was the way Brian admitted defeat. He'd gone as far as to think of suicide.

From that moment on, Evan erased all his plans on ever trying anything with Brian again. He focused on rectifying what he'd destroyed within a few hours. Evan rarely regretted his actions, but he wished he wouldn't have pursued Brian so hard, he wished he wouldn't have that influence over Brian that made him fall under his spell.

He'd do everything in his power to help Brian make up with Justin, if Brian ever spoke to him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more Brian's pov, but it explains what happened on Thanksgiving.

Brian paced the length of the loft, running his hands through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts.

All he could think of was Justin, and the heartache he'd caused both of them with his irrational desire to be with Evan one more time in Miami. Brian wasn't sure if he'd ever felt so hollow and insignificant than at the moment. He regretted his actions more than anything else ever in his life.

The aftermath of his supposed fun in Miami was disastrous.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He couldn't focus on the pressing matter at hand, which was branching out Kinnetik.

Justin's hurt eyes haunted him, his broken voice as he kicked him out of his apartment, his tears and the pain Brian has caused him.

"Fuck," Brian spat, grabbing his bottle of whiskey and emptying the few drops left in it.

He'd been back in glorious Pittsburgh for a few days, and all his initial excitement at bringing Kinnetik to New York City had evaporated. It gave him a headache at trying to figure out the best way to win the big bad city.

Brian knew that he either needed an important account from New York, or to rebrand one of his old accounts. There was no in-between.

Theodore had been given the job to crunch the number to make sure they had enough resources to enter the New York market as soon and as swiftly as possible. Brian trusted him to find the best way to expand, without hurting the Pittsburgh headquarters.

Unable to sleep, Brian had been busy trying to figure out which one of his accounts would score him golden points with the big city. So far, he had only managed to spread files all over the floor and empty a bottle of Beam.

In a moment of sheer desperation, he picked the phone and dialed a number of a person, he was sure he'd leave behind after all the fiasco.

 _The fucking phone_ , Brian thought as he gripped the small, black device. He wasn't sure why he'd accepted the gift, but he appreciated the gesture. He'd have probably done the same for Evan if he broke his phone by mistake.

The call connected and a confused voice answered, " _Hello?_ "

Brian was surprised Evan hadn't saved his number. "Hey. It's me." He stepped over a pile of files on his EyeConics account, searching for his smokes.

" _Brian?_ "

"Yeah. Do you have a minute?" He pressed the phone between his elbow and ear as he lit a cigarette.

There was a commotion from the other end of the line, before Evan confirmed he had time. " _What do you need?_ "

"Uh, well...you see...I shouldn't even talk to you, but I hope you'll answer me as an old friend, not a future rival in the ad world."

" _Do you need help with branching your company?_ " Evan asked seriously.

"I have no clue where to start looking, or what to do first. I tried searching offices, but for that I need to have a solid idea of what I want to do. I don't want to get there without anything concrete, get a big office, then be unable to pay for it or my employee. Which is another matter. I'm going crazy. There are a thousand things I have to do, and I don't know which one to do first."

" _First of all, calm down,_ " Evan told him quietly. " _Second of all, I opened my own company after a few years here. I have more than a clue about what you need to do. I can e-mail you an efficient plan about opening a company in New York._ "

Brian fell on the sofa, taking a deep drag of his smoke. "You're a fucking life-saver, Evan."

" _Give me a few minutes to find the plan that helped me. Call me back if there is something unclear in the e-mail._ "

"Thank you. I mean it."

" _You're very welcome,_ " Evan joked.

Brian didn't have to wait much, besides he kept hitting refresh on his e-mail like a madman.

 **From:** Evan Steele  
 **To:** Brian Kinney  
 **Date:** November 23, 2005 15:48  
 **Subject:** Branching out your business

Hello Brian,

Here are some facts that you should keep in mind. I found these on various articles on the Internet and in the library, though feel free to take these advice in consideration.

With all the branching out, it is imperative that you understand how each part of the segments contribute to your overall business. Start by asking yourself these questions:

What pieces of the business are profitable?

Which are not? Where exactly am I bleeding cash?

Where can I cut?

Where can't I?

What segments should I drop?

Expand?

Consolidate?

Outsource?

Which road should I take?

The five disciplines of adjacency expansion:

Relentless repeatability: A repeatable formula for adjacency expansion is at the heart of most sustained, profitable growth strategies.

Customer-centric _:_ The best adjacency strategies usually start from insights about the core customer, not from the big idea or the search for the next hot-market success.

Strong core: A strong core business is essential for adjacency success. Adjacency moves seldom solve the problems of a weak core.

Simple, clear criteria: The best, most innovative growth companies are also the most rigorous in their decision making.

Organizational fit: Failure to confront organizational issues in advance is the quickest way to derail a growth initiative. Detailed, up-front homework is the best way to increase the odds for success.

DATA: Bain & Co.

Many CEOs think of themselves as generals and liken their efforts to waging battles. In a way, the metaphor is appropriate, since a business, like an army, can't advance everywhere at once, but must rely on informed, savvy strategy. In any successful campaign, intelligence is key, and that's where the CIO steps in. The CIO has the tools to help executives identify and carry forward logical opportunities for expansion and revenue growth-and to do it again and again.

Okay, so these being said, I will add my personal insight.

You, as the CEO, have the last word in many aspects, though you must always listen to the IT Director, the Art Director and your CFO. They know best their own parts in the company.

Like I said, if you have any more questions, call me.

Evan Steele,

CEO of Magnetic Steele Inc.

Brian's panic fueled after reading the e-mail. He forwarded it to Theodore and Blitz, his IT guy. He'd earned his name for his quickness in resolving all problems that have appeared over the months.

Next, Brian called Evan back.

" _Did you get it?_ " Evan asked promptly.

"Yes, and it did more bad. I'm more confused and unsure where to begin than before."

" _Okay. Hold on._ " There was the sound of a door opening and loud rumor on the other end of the line. " _Timmy, I'll be out of town for a few days. Hold my calls. If we get any important calls, forward them to me. I should be back by Monday._ "

" _Leaving? What about the donut deal?_ " An agitated voice resounded through the phone, making Brian think of Cynthia when he dropped some bomb on her. That Timmy had to be Evan's assistant.

" _I thought you could deal with any crisis. It said so on your resume. Make me proud. Also, let Taz know I'd like to see the mock-ups on my desk first thing Monday morning. That's two extra days for him to rectify them._ "

" _Uh, sir...I mean, Mr. Steele...uh, it's Thanksgiving break. I think Taz is going home to visit his family._ "

" _Then it's your job to keep him here tonight until he finishes the mock-ups. If they're not perfect and the way I initially wanted them, let him know he better not show his face here on Monday...or after._ "

A moment later, Brian could hear Evan sighing loudly. " _Right. I'm here. I'm coming over to help you with this thing._ "

"You are?" Brian asked, surprised. "I mean, I don't need..."

" _Are you sure? To me, it seems you're drowning at the moment. Text me your address, and I'll be there later tonight._ "

Leaving Brian no room to argue, Evan hung up.

**oOo**

Close to eleven that night, Brian had dug up his weed stash and was about to finish his roach when the buzzer for the front door sounded through the loft, disturbing the rock song he was listening to.

Stumbling to the device, he pushed the button to speak to the person intruding. "Yeah?"

"Open up."

Brian had managed to forget about Evan. "Shit," he muttered, buzzing him in.

After pulling the heavy metal door open, he leaned against the wall, taking one last hit of his roach.

Evan appeared from the stairs with a small travel bag on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you take the elevator?" Brian frowned, helping him with the bag.

"Is that thing safe?" Evan eyed the contraption worried.

"Of course it is." Brian shut the door in their wake, locking up and setting the alarm.

He found Evan standing rooted in one of the few available floor spots, looking around. Brian felt self-conscious of his play-pen. When he'd first found his loft, it was shortly after meeting Evan, then after seeing his place, he'd wanted to make his own house as luxurious as his. Becoming a success in his career had helped with all the top quality appliances he got.

"It feels like I've seen this place before," Evan mused. "Looks oddly familiar." He caught Brian's eye, surprised he'd decorated his place similar to his old condo.

"The loft has similar outlines to your old place. Besides, it's not as grand as yours."

"It's so you. I can see you in everything you own here."

Brian cleared his throat, dumping Evan's bag next to the sofa, before heading to the wet bar. "A drink?"

"Sure. Beam works," Evan said, seeing the only drink of choice. "I had no idea if you had room for me here so I booked myself a room at Fairmont Pittsburgh."

"Then why are you here? You could have come in the morning. I bet you're tired." Brian handed him a glass with amber liquid.

"You were so agitated, I had to check you would be okay."

"I am. Look, I'm tired. I appreciate you're here, though I didn't invite you. I need all the help I could get to branch out as smoothly as possible, but at the same time, I'm not happy it's you helping me."

"How many times must I repeat that I am truly sorry for what happened?"

"You're sorry, and we're not speaking anymore. You didn't lose anything from what we did, but I lost everything." Brian downed his glass, pouring himself another. "I'll be a hypocrite and keep you around because I need your help, and I can see that you really want to help and you also regret Miami, though that doesn't make me feel better. And one more thing, if you still want me to speak to you and attempt to be friends, you will not mention Justin at all."

"I can do that." Evan nodded solemnly. "Do you have a plan on how to get back to him?"

Brian groaned loudly. "What that fuck did I just say? We talk business and just about that. Now, go to your hotel and we'll meet in the morning."

"Is eight okay?"

"Sure."

**oOo**

On Thursday evening, which was Thanksgiving day, Brian found himself buried in papers with Evan by his side. He also had Ted and Blitz a call or email away.

They'd settled to work on his new account with the cloth store.

Brian's phone buzzed on the coffee table, disturbing them from the factsheet in front of them.

He grabbed the phone, gasping at the message he'd received from Michael.

**Dinner at Ma's at 7. I hope you didn't forget.**

"Fuck." He sprung up, hitting his knee to the inside of the coffee table. "Ow. Fucking shit."

"What happened?" Evan eyed him curiously.

Agitated, Brian glared at the clock. It was fifteen minutes to seven.

Couldn't Mikey remind him earlier?

"I have to be at family dinner in fifteen minutes. We have to cut this short for today." Brian rushed to his bathroom, knowing he didn't have enough time to shower, but he tried washing in the sink a little.

In his hurry to be only a few minutes late, instead of his usual fashionably late, he grabbed one of the shirts on his bed. It felt all wrong on him, and only when he had his shoes on and was ready to leave, he realized that the shirt belong to Evan. He had spent the previous night at the loft, when they both fell asleep on the couch, respectively on the floor, while working on the plan to branch out Kinnetik.

Brian chose to keep the shirt on, with Evan's approval, because changing out of it would have taken too long.

"Want me to drive you to the hotel?" Brian offered, buttoning up his coat.

"If you don't mind, I'll stay here and continue what we started. We were on a roll when your phone disturbed us."

"You seriously don't mind? I mean, it's Thanksgiving, Evan." Brian hovered in the doorway.

"I don't have anything else to do." Evan shrugged.

"Booze and weed at discretion." Brian pointed to his wet bar. "I hope it won't take hours, but you never know. Thanks for offering to help."

"Just go and have fun."

**oOo**

Brian arrived on time, but parked down the street, chain smoking to calm his nerves.

He saw Justin walking hurriedly through the cold, huddled in his too thin jacket for that weather. Of course, Debbie had invited him too.

Brian watched Justin disappear inside the house he considered his home since he was fourteen.

He had no idea what to do, how to act around Justin.

Justin had taken a leaf out of his book and kicked him out of his house and life the very same way Brian had done some time ago. Though, back then Brian was scared out of his mind and not ready to admit that he was actually human with feelings that could be touched by disease.

One cigarette later, Brian felt calm enough to face the music. He hoped they could act like two mature people, but he knew there would be fireworks.

The image that greeted him in the house, squeezed at his heart. Gus was in Justin's arms, hugging him tightly and smiling. His two favorite people together.

When Gus noticed him in the doorway, he shouted his name, squirming out of Justin's arms. Brian handed Debbie his jacket in time to catch his little man, running full pelt speed at him.

"Daddy!" Gus threw himself in Brian's open arms. "Missed you lots."

Brian held him close, pressing his nose to his son's hair. "I missed you too, Gus." He pressed a kiss to his head for good measure. "Let me take my boots off and I'm all yours."

"No need, honey." Debbie waved him off. "Go spend some quality time with your kid."

Brian shot her a smile, before heading into the living room with Gus still in his arms. He wasn't ready to let him go, and the child clung to him like a baby monkey.

"Hey, girls." He sat next to Lindsay and Melanie. They nodded to him, distracted, and he noticed they were looking toward the kitchen.

It took him a second to spot Justin there with Emmett, looking worn-out and like he'd aged a few years. Brian felt terrible, knowing it was all his fault.

"Do you have anything to say about that?" Melanie demanded.

Brian wasn't ready to start a fight, especially not around his son. To his relief, before he could offer a G-rated answer, Gus pulled a drawing from his mother's purse.

"Look, Daddy! I did this for you and Jus!"

Swallowing hard, Brian focused on the drawing. It wasn't the best thing he'd seen, but it was beautiful, because it came from his son. He'd thought of them, and by drawing them as a family showed how much he loved both of them.

Brian wondered what new low he'd hit if he used Gus to get Justin back. Not caring much, he went to Justin.

"So you like it?" Gus whispered.

"It's beautiful. It will go on my fridge, definitely. Knowing you thought of me, and you draw this for me? That's so thoughtful of you, Sonny Boy."

Brian caught Justin's eye, before grabbing juice from the fridge. He'd drunk too much alcohol in the past few days.

"Look, Jus! I did it for you and Daddy! Daddy said he'd place it on the fridge at home." Gus showed his drawing to Justin.

Seeing the critical way Justin was looking at the drawing, Brian couldn't help a snide remark. "Does the artist approve of my son's talent?"

He knew it was doubtful Justin would mock the drawing, but whatever his son drew was amazing, and he didn't deserve any bad word from New York's new talented artist.

Justin shot Brian an aggravated look. "It's beautiful. My mom's refrigerator was filled with such pictures when I was young."

"Now she frames them and hangs them on walls," Brian told Gus, kissing his cheek.

"Do you want to help me decorate the appetizer plate?" Emmett asked Gus, trying to divert the child's attention from his daddies' quarrel.

"Yes! Can I, Daddy?" Gus pleaded his dad.

"Sure." Brian put him down, and the child dragged a chair next to Emmett, expecting instructions on what to do. He smiled at the two of them, watching Gus carefully placing finger food on the plate.

When he looked around for Justin, he noticed a blond head heading up the stairs.

"Don't fight today," Emmett whispered, seeing his friend ready to follow Justin.

Brian scowled, still following Justin. He caught him right as he was about to lock himself in the bathroom.

He was all for talking, but seeing Justin bent over the sink, all rational thoughts flew from his mind. Before he knew it, Brian was kissing Justin with ardor. And for some miracle, Justin was kissing him back, just as passionately.

Until Justin pulled away, cupping his mouth, looking about to retch. Tears sprung into his baby blues as hurt clouded them.

"Do you have any sense of decency? You coming to family dinner after visiting the Baths?" Justin snapped.

"Actually, I've spent the past couple of days at the loft trying to sort everything for branching out Kinnetik." He paused for a moment, hesitating. "Evan helped me with good location ideas."

Justin curled his hands into fists. "Why do you keep doing this to me? You were with him, weren't you? You fucking reek." Justin glared, and all Brian could do was hung his head. He'd been a complete idiot to think not showering and taking Evan's shirt was okay. He should have arrived late, like always, instead of arriving almost on time and smelling like a stale house combined with Evan. "It's true, isn't it? He's at the loft. You fucked. Then you came here… fashionably late. Then you cornered me in the bathroom and tried… What exactly are you playing at? Why do you keep hurting me, Brian?" Tears sprung into Justin's eyes, and Brian's fingers itched to brush them away.

"It was stupid of me not to shower. But trust me when I say we haven't fucked. I grabbed one of his shirts by mistake. It happened just that one time." Brian felt like a machine, repeating himself, excusing himself at every turn.

"One time? You mean the whole time of your business trip in Miami. Spare me." Justin held a hand up, repulsed, when Brian made to reply with the correct answer. "I never thought you could disgust me like this, Brian. At least, I knew when to step aside back then when I sneaked behind your back with Ethan. You keep coming on me…"

 _Fucking Ian._ Brian hoped the fiddler wouldn't be mentioned, but their mistakes were similar. Daphne had been right, though Brian knew his betrayal was far worse than what Justin had done to him back then.

"Justin…" Brian whispered, his voice laced with pain. "You have no idea how fucking sorry I am for letting things get out of the way."

"We're men. We can't be tamed and tied down, remember? I came to understand and accept that, but I put my foot down at you being around your ex-boss. Then you go away with him on a business trip and that fucking storm played to your advantage."

"I tried calling you," Brian muttered, annoyed.

"Stop calling. Or call away. I changed my number. We're done. Get that through your head. I don't want you in my life. If you move to New York, make sure to avoid all the places you know I frequent." Justin unlocked the bathroom door, but stopped with his hand on the handle. "And tell your new boyfriend to stop pestering me at the bar. He's been driving me crazy."

That was news to Brian. He'd have to make Evan understand it was his business, not Evan's, not anyone else's. No one should fight his battle.

"I already told him to stop trying to patch things up between us. I know you're upset."

"I'm upset?" Justin roared, spinning on his heels to face Brian. "I'm fucking mad. You managed to hurt me so badly, Brian. I'm afraid I can't trust anyone again...and I resent you for that."

That gutted Brian. If he'd managed to hurt Justin that way, almost the same way Evan had hurt him when he first left, and broke all his trust in relationships, Brian would never forgive himself. He knew how much Justin thrived a relationship and love and affection. If his actions had taken that away, he'd hate himself forever.

Brian lifted a hand to touch Justin, but he got his hand slapped away.

When Justin opened the door, Michael was on the other side, watching them with wide eyes and paler than ever.

Brian's anger skyrocketed. It was his and Justin's problem why they broke up, and Michael had no right to interfere or listen on in their conversation. He even dared give a lame excuse about pissing.

Yeah, pissing Brian off, most likely.

With Justin gone from the bathroom, Brian rounded on Michael.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He shouted.

"Me? What are _you_ doing?" Michael shoved at his shoulder. "You've been in this beautiful mood since you came back. Why are you fighting with Justin? I heard you managed to hurt him again."

Brian sneered, folding his arms across his chest. "Since where are you Team Justin?"

"Since you're an asshole who keeps hurting him!"

"Shut the fuck up, Michael! You don't know anything!" Brian roared.

Michael blanched, stepping back. He'd only seen Brian once so angry, when Justin took refuge under their roof after leaving Brian for not giving him what he wanted.

"Then make me understand," he dared to say in a small voice.

Brian grabbed his hair, squeezing his eyes. "I fucked up royally, Mikey. And no, I won't tell you. Leave me the fuck alone." He stormed downstairs, only to find everyone standing, wearing somber looks.

"I don't care what you did this time, but Sunshine left because of you," Debbie snapped. "Why do you keep hurting him, Brian? We thought you've grown up enough to be—"

"Fuck off," Brian muttered, brushed past her, but Debbie grabbed his elbow.

"What was that?"

"You heard me. It's not generally for you, it's for all of you. Get off my back. Whatever happened between Justin and me...it's between us. I doubt it will ever be the same again. Now, we either eat, or I go back home. I have lots to do."

Debbie took Brian's hand, gesturing for the others to be seated. She pulled her wayward son to the couch.

"What happened, Brian?"

He glared at the floor, prying his hand free from her grip. "Give it a rest, Debbie."

"Somehow, this doesn't look like your usual quarrels." She cupped his cheek, stroking it. "Christ, you're so skinny."

"Stop already! I'm fine. As for whatever happened between Justin and me, can you, for once, leave it be? I don't want to talk about it, and I doubt he will tell you."

"How bad can it be?"

Brian squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing hard. "I did irreparable damage. No, I won't tell you what. Especially not with the gossip ladies behind us."

Debbie glanced toward the kitchen, and sure enough everyone was looking at them, trying to hear what they were saying.

"Come to the diner tomorrow. Let's talk then," she said softly.

"I don't promise to reveal anything, but I'll drop by." He stood, stealing another look to the family, before catching Debbie's eye. "As for staying… I'm sorry, Deb. I can't."

"Nonsense. You're staying. It's enough Sunshine left."

Brian edged closer to the door, grabbing his coat. "I have someone over," he added.

At Debbie's wide eyes, he shrugged, slipping his jacket on.

"At least allow me to pack you some food."

A few minutes later, Brian found himself with a large bag filled with casseroles, once again sitting in his car and smoking.

There was a knock on the passenger window, pulling him from his thoughts. For a brief moment, he thought it was Justin, but when the door opened, he realized it was only Lindsay.

Brian blasted warm air, seeing she hadn't put a coat on. "Do you want to catch a cold?"

"Stop giving me lessons on what to do, when you seem to screw up at every turn. You're both miserable."

"If I wanted the news, I'd watch CNN."

"Brian, whatever happened… there's always a chance to make it better. If you remember, Mel and I had some pretty hard times, but look at us," she said, taking his hand.

"We're not a couple of lezzies to brush it off. Besides, what I did cannot be brushed off. We're both men—hot-blooded men with egos the size of Texas."

"Did you… I can't believe I'm going to say this… did you have a fight? Like a real fight?"

Brian glared, snatching his hand away. "I'd never hurt him! Are you crazy?" He clawed at his face. "But I did...hurt him...in other ways...much terrible ways."

Lindsay's breath hitched. "Did you cheat? Is that what you mean? I had no idea you were monogamous…"

"We weren't. Fuck. Justin wanted one little thing of me, but I couldn't keep my promise." Brian dug the heel of his palms in his eyes, before facing Lindsay. "I fucked up royally, Wendy."

"I guess you don't want to talk about it now."

"No. Maybe someday I'll tell you."

"Are you okay to drive home?"

"Sure. Uh, while you're here...give me a call and let me have some time with Gus."

"How would you like to have him for the weekend? We're staying with Michael and Ben."

"Okay. Call, and I'll steal him for some manly bonding time."

**oOo**

At the loft, Brian found Evan asleep on his bed. It made him angry to see him there, knowing he hadn't brought anyone over after Justin had left for New York. He'd planned to keep it that way.

Even though Evan was simply sleeping, exhausted from helping him expand his company, it didn't sit well with Brian.

Upset at himself and the situation he found himself in, with no way to escape, Brian put the food in the fridge, before slumping on his Barcelona chair.

He had to find a way to get Justin to at least hear him out, but at the same time, he needed Evan's help. Brian hated situations like the current one—being stuck between rational and practical.

Sometime during his contemplating his problems, he managed to fall asleep.

In the morning, he came around to the smell of coffee.

Craning his neck to the left, he noticed Evan on the couch, typing the laptop, sipping from a steaming mug. There was another mug on the coffee table.

"How long have you been awake?" Brian asked, leaning to grab his coffee.

"Not that long. You don't have anything to eat around here."

"There's food from Debbie. I didn't stay for dinner and she packed."

"Oh?"

Brian drank from his mug, burning his tongue. "Fuck." He placed it back on the coffee table. "Justin was there. Things got tense… We both left."

With a wise decision, Evan decided not to comment. He knew that whatever he said, would turn into an argument.

"Did you make any progress?" Brian added, changing the subject.

"We need to meet in person with your CFO. There are things better discussed in person. I already called a friend who knows a good real estate agent, and he'll start looking for locations to start a new business. I can also give you the number of some of my former employees and colleagues from other agencies."

"I love handouts." Brian rolled his eyes.

"You're in dire need of personnel. If you think you can find people on your own, go ahead." Evan shrugged.

"No. I'll accept your handouts, but that's for when I go back to New York. Let me call Theodore and tell him to meet us. Is the diner okay?"

"A diner? Are you serious?" Evan scoffed.

"Yes. Got a problem? It's the place I frequent since I was fourteen."

A shower and a trip to Evan's hotel later, they were headed to the diner, ready to meet with Ted.

"I didn't peg you as the type to go to a diner," Evan commented as they walked from the car to the food establishment.

"It's where Debbie works, Michael's mother. The food is pretty decent, sometimes." Brian shrugged.

The first thing Brian noticed when he stepped into Liberty Diner was Justin at the counter. He steered Evan to an empty booth, not ready to have another fight with Justin. He should have known Justin would visit Debbie, feeling guilty for bailing from family dinner.

To busy himself, Brian grabbed a menu to show Evan the breakfast food.

"Are you going to introduce us to your new friend?" Debbie demanded, and even though Brian wasn't looking at her, he could feel her eyes glaring into his skull.

Brian looked up, meeting Justin's eyes for a second, and he could feel the hate and pain in the stormy blues.

"This is Evan Steele. We used to work together. He was my first boss."

"Oh, I remember. You barely had time to visit, and when we saw you, you always complained about what an ass he was." Debbie nodded.

 _Trust Debbie to remember such things_ , Brian thought amused.

"I'm flattered." Evan rolled his eyes.

"You were an ass. I worked like a slave, when in reality you've already made up your mind about keeping me." Brian elbowed him, glaring.

"I had to keep you guessing. If was fun watching you get riled up."

Their light banter was interrupted by a gagging noise coming from the counter. Brian felt immensely guilty for being there with Evan, but how could he know Justin would be there as well.

"I'm off. Lots to do." Justin kissed Debbie, then wished Theodore luck for unknown reasons, before hightailing it.

Debbie's worried eyes turned from Justin, who slipped out the door, to Brian.

"You know that by heart. Now, stop pretending. He's gone. What the hell happened between you two?"

"I was an idiot. Justin finally woke up and realized who I truly am. End of story. We'd like two turkey breast sandwiches, no mayo. And hold the fucking remarks." Brian met Ted's curious eyes. "Come meet an old friend of mine, Theodore."

Ted approached them with his coffee cup. "Hello." He shook hands with Evan, but his eyes were on Brian. "Why am I always the last to hear news?"

"Because you don't have a social life?"

"Actually, it's your fault, having me work on crunching numbers. I have Blake helping me so we can be done before you go back." Ted stopped for a second. "You are going back, right?"

"Why the fuck would we go through all this stress if I didn't intend to go back?" Brian groaned. "Now let's talk budget."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you understood some of his actions better. More to come. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Evan arrived at work an hour later than usual, but he had a good excuse. He'd been across the street where Brian had found office space. Evan had given him some of his old contacts of talented people he'd worked with, because he knew Brian would want the best team.

Timmy was pacing in his office when Evan opened the door. He hung his coat, before going to his assistant.

"Why so agitated?"

Timmy started talking about three of his clients at the same time, mixing facts, at how anxious he was after the call he got.

"Slow the fuck down. Sit down. Drink some water." Evan pushed the kid on the sofa, before handing him a bottle of water. "Now start over."

"Okay." Timmy took a shaky breath. "Mr. Hanson called very upset about the way his commercial turned out."

"Shit. He said he liked it," Evan grunted.

"Well...not anymore. Anyway, then I saw an e-mail I might have missed last Friday…" He said in a small voice. "I'm sorry, but you know how hectic it was here on Friday."

"Go on." Evan slumped in his seat behind the desk, preparing for the worst.

"Do you remember applying with that rushed storyboard for the Apple account?"

Evan looked up, his mouth dropping. "No way! They answered back! And you didn't see it on time! Give me a good reason not to fire you, Preston!"

"They want a video chat with you at eleven. In thirty minutes," Timmy whispered, glancing at the clock.

"Video call! We talked about this. I don't do video chats. I don't know how you paid for your college, but video chats are degrading."

Timmy flushed, realizing his mistake. "Video call, yes. Sorry, sir. I mean Mr. Steele."

Evan knuckled his forehead. At least Timmy was dedicated and learned from his mistakes, most of the time.

"Anything they mentioned in that e-mail? Nevermind. Forward it to me and mark it with high priority. Also call Taz and tell him to get his ass in my office. Pronto."

Timmy nodded frantically.

"Are you gone?" Evan barked, seeing the kid still sitting on the sofa. "Is there more?" He added, seeing Timmy's knee bouncing.

"We have a few e-mails from former employees, especially one I know you kicked out of here quite literally."

Evan was surprised everyone had answered him, after asking them if they were interested in a job.

"Forward all these to me as well. I'll look over them after I get Apple, which I should talk with in twenty-five minutes now. So what do you have to do?" Evan checked, to make sure the spaz remembered his requests.

Timmy stood, chewing on his lip. "Forward Apple's e-mail to you and mark it with high priority. Call Taz to your office. And...should I arrange the conference room for your video ch...call? And then forward all these odd e-mails to you."

Evan beamed. "Good. Chop-chop."

Timmy scurried out of his office, leaving Evan to stare after him and ask himself what was in his head when he'd hired Timmy. He was a fresh out of college business graduate, not knowing where to start looking for a job, so after trying and failing to find a good position in different businesses, he'd applied to the assistant job for the CEO of an advertising company. Evan had seen his dedication and seriousness, so he gave him a shot.

It was a good thing Evan had told Timmy to forward him the Apple e-mail, because there was an attached document he had to sign for non-disclosure. He quickly signed it, before replying to the officials.

When Taz arrived into his office, they had a few minutes to work on their speech.

It turned out that the officials from Apple wanted to see what Evan's company could come up with, before choosing between the many ad companies. They had a couple of months to work on it.

As Evan set his best people to work on the new challenge, he realized this was a great opportunity to get Brian to work with him. He was aware Magnetic Steele was too small for Apple, but united with Kinnetik, it might do the trick. He'd wait to proposition Brian until he had an answer back from Apple, but for that he had to make a kick-ass campaign.

He spent the rest of the day exchanging e-mails with Brian regarding his former employees and friends from the ad world. Evan was happy to help his friend build his branch of the company in New York City.

They got along better than Evan could remember they ever did, but they weren't working together and Evan made an effort to not ask Brian if he'd tried patching things up with his hellcat. Every time Justin was brought in discussion one way or another, Brian seemed to close up, and it took a lot of effort to pull him from the dark spot.

In the eve of Brian's trip to Toronto to visit his son for Christmas, Evan convinced him to walk in the park, in a vain attempt to distract his friend from his sorrows. It was only his fault Brian had lost that spark in his eyes, and as devoted as he was to opening Kinnetik and interviewing people every day, it was all about work, without any fun.

Evan was listening to Brian's stories about Gus, encouraging him to talk about his son more, because some light had come in his eyes when he mentioned Gus. Maybe the trip would do him good.

It was going well until Evan saw Brian's hellcat with two other men near a stage. They'd heard some of the concert as they walked aimlessly. Evan noticed Brian's defensive wall surrounding him as he approached Justin and his friends. For some reason, Brian glared daggers at the dark haired guy next to Justin, and Evan couldn't help but wonder if they knew each other.

For a wild second, Evan thought Justin had found someone else, but then that guy took the other man's hand, smiling at Brian. A heated chat between Justin and Brian later, Brian approached him with a small smile.

"Sorry to bail on you, but I'm going with Justin to get a drawing he made for Gus."

"Good luck."

Brian shrugged, leaving with Justin. He watched as Brian wrapped an arm around Justin's shoulders and wondered if they'd made up. It was Christmas after all.

He wouldn't be surprised to hear from Brian that he took Justin with him to Toronto.

"So you're the reason why they broke up?" The dark haired guy said, coming closer.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Justin's friend. Ethan, and this is my boyfriend Warren."

"Whatever." Evan spun on his heels, ready to leave.

"You know something? We aren't that much different. We both knew they were in a relationship when we pursued them, though there's a slight difference. Justin knew when to step back and accept his mistake, besides he had a sound reason to escape from his poisonous relationship with Brian. I gave him everything Brian refused to do or say." Ethan's words stopped Evan, making him frown at the revelations. "As for what Brian did now...when they were in an open relationship, engaged, both of them loving each other, there is no excuse for his behavior. From what I heard, you played a big role in corrupting him."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Yes, I admit, I pushed too hard. I don't do regret, but I deeply regret breaking them up. As for what you just said...you mean that the hellcat cheated on Brian too?"

Ethan snorted. "The hellcat? Does Justin know of his nickname? Anyway, it happened too many years ago. We were nineteen, and Justin was always a romantic. I gave him what Brian wouldn't. Eventually, I stepped wrong and he returned to Brian."

"I see. I don't know why you told me this, but it makes me understand them better."

"Please don't use this against them. I have no idea why I said it, but I guess you had the right to know it. Thinking back, Justin's betrayal was worse than what Brian did now because we kept meeting behind Brian's back until he left him, but they weren't so strong and invested in their relationship. Justin trusted Brian with all his heart, and what Brian did was worse than what we'd done years ago. They weren't committed to each other with expectations from the other. Now they were."

"Well, I appreciate this insight and your confession."

Ethan nodded. "One last piece of advice, try not to interfere. They will end up back together. That's for sure. They're made for each other, but it might take more time than usual. Justin can be too stubborn sometimes and not see the bigger picture."

"A hellcat," Evan snorted. "It was nice chatting."

"Have a nice evening." Ethan steered Warren away from Evan, getting lost in the crowd.

Evan knew that he wouldn't bring this up to Brian, or Justin, for that matter, but it was good to know that Justin wasn't as perfect as Evan once thought.

**oOo**

Brian disembarked the plane in Toronto with a heavy heart. He'd failed to convince Justin to come along, even for Gus.

The thought of seeing Gus brightened his mood.

He didn't expect to see his son waiting for him in the airport, but the last person he expected to see there waiting for him was Melanie.

"Melanie," Brian greeted.

"You better bundle up, it's blizzard out there."

"Tell me about it. We circled the airport five times before the plane landed."

"While I waited here, trying to stay awake. Thank God for coffee."

In the car, she blasted hot air, rubbing her hands together. "Did you get some sleep?" She asked, eyeing him concerned. Brian looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Some. How's Linz?"

"I left her sleeping. We managed to put Gus to bed around eleven, and when we thought it was over, JR started crying. It was hellish."

Brian knew all about not being able to sleep, but he had his own demons to confront every night.

They stayed quiet for the rest of the journey.

At their house, Melanie showed Brian to the guest bedroom, before going to see if anyone was awake.

Brian took the opportunity to shower and change out of his clothes. When he returned to his room, he found it occupied with Gus jumping on the bed.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

Brian caught him on time when the little boy bounced off the mattress into his arms. Cuddling him close, Brian forgot about his current problems.

"Hey, Gus. Miss me?"

"Lots and lots."

"We had a pretty nice time on Thanksgiving, huh? Maybe we can find a place like that here too?"

"That would be awesome! I liked that splashing paint game."

Brian smiled, kissing his son's head. "I promise to find a game place like that. If not, maybe we can use your mom's studio?" He could imagine the shock on Lindsay's face if they invaded her personal space.

Gus twisted in Brian's arms, looking around, before meeting his father's eyes. "No Jus?"

Fuck. Brian's heart broke at the sad little face before him. "He couldn't make it. Remember? We talked he's becoming a great artist in New York."

"Oh, yeah." He didn't sound convinced.

"Gus, even though Justin couldn't make it, he sent you something." Placing Gus on the bed, Brian extracted the drawing from his laptop bag. "Here you go. Justin made this for you."

"Wow." Gus stared in awe at the picture of him. "It's me!"

"It's very beautiful. Just like you." Brian smiled, stroking his son's hair.

"I should thank Jus!" Gus looked up expectantly. "Can you please call him?"

"It's really early. He likes to sleep in."

"Later then. We must call him, Daddy. It's my most favorite gift ever." Gus hugged the drawing to his chest.

Brian blinked back the sudden tears in his eyes. He hated himself for hurting Gus with his break-up. Maybe if Lindsay called Justin, he'd be amenable to talk to Gus.

To distract Gus from asking more about Justin, Brian inquired about how he liked it in Canada. The kid had always liked snow and cold, which was odd since neither him, nor Lindsay were fond of winter.

A shadow in the doorway distracted him from Gus's stories.

Brian smiled at Lindsay. "Hi, Linz."

"Mommy! Look what Jus drawed for me."

"Drew," Brian corrected him at the same time as Lindsay.

Gus frowned, looking between his parents. "What about Emmett's friend?"

Brian flopped back on the bed, laughing with tears. Only his kid would be so perceptive.

Lindsay explained to him about the past tense of the word he was trying to use. Gus dismissed her explanation impatiently, showing her the drawing and bouncing all over the place.

"We must, must, must call Jus, Mommy! He drawed….drew...me so pretty!" He averted, using the correct form of the verb. "Please, Mommy."

"What are you feeding him? WASP politeness for lunch? He's too polite." Brian snorted.

"Unlike you, it wasn't hard to teach him these things. He knows that saying 'please' and 'thank you' gets him a special reward."

"I see it runs in the WASP families. Justin used to be the same. I always rewarded him." Brian's attempt at a joke, brought him heartache and a glare from Lindsay.

"Come on, sweetie. Mama made breakfast. After, we'll call Justin. Okay?" She steered Gus out of the guest bedroom.

Brian followed them somberly.

They found Melanie in the process of feeding JR, and Brian was so amused by their faces covered in JR's mashed food that he took a picture and sent it to Michael. He had to see what Melanie was doing to his kid.

For the rest of the day, whenever Lindsay passed Brian, she made sure to brush his arm, his shoulder, his face, compassion evident on her face.

It was late evening, and they were all in the living room catching up when Gus demanded for someone to call Jus, his eyes moving between his dad and his moms.

Lindsay agreed, dialing Justin's number. She kept the phone to her ear until the call connected before handing it to Gus.

The sound settings were pretty loud because Brian who had Gus on his lap could hear Justin.

" _Hello? Hello?_ "

"Hi, Jus!" Gus shouted, grinning widely.

" _Gussy?_ " Brian could hear when Justin's breath hitched.

"Yup! Hi!"

" _Hi, Gussy. Merry Christmas!_ "

Gus beamed. "Merry Christmas, Jus! Thank you for the pretty drawing! I love it. It's the best gift I ever got!"

" _I'm glad you like it, kid._ "

"I miss you, Jus. I wish you came here with Daddy. But Daddy said you were super busy with your painting."

Brian wondered what Justin was going to say to his lie.

" _Uh, yeah. It's true. Maybe I'll visit soon. You never know. I miss you too._ "

"Want to talk to Daddy? I bet you miss him too," Gus said, ignoring the panic in his daddy's eyes.

" _Maybe you can put your mommy on the phone? It was very nice hearing your voice._ "

"Yeah, sure." Gus handed his mom the phone, relaxing in Brian's arms.

Brian couldn't hear what Justin was saying anymore, but he got the gist of the conversation from Lindsay's side. He wished he could have come, but he couldn't since Brian was there. When they were wrapping up the conversation, Gus dived to the other side of the couch, shouting into the phone.

"BYE, JUS!"

Lindsay laughed at whatever Justin told her, then Gus added something that squeezed at Brian's heart.

"I love you too, Jus!"

"We'll talk soon. Remember, we're a call away," Lindsay said, before ending the call.

Gus hugged her around the neck, then went back to sit on Brian's lap, snuggling close. Brian hugged him tightly. For the moment, his son was his only anchor to not break to pieces.

They kept talking for a while, Brian filling them in about how opening Kinnetik in New York was working, while Gus fell asleep. Brian offered to put him to bed.

It took skill to change the slumbering boy into his pajamas, and to Brian's surprise he stayed asleep, but woke up when Brian was about to leave the room.

"Daddy stay!"

"Weren't you sleeping?" Brian joked.

"Stay, please."

"Scoot over." Brian got under the blanket. Gus rolled on top of his daddy, sighing contently.

It surprised Brian to have the small boy on top of him, but he welcomed the feeling. It didn't take long for either of them to fall asleep.

**oOo**

Christmas was a holiday Brian never enjoyed because he never got into the cheer coming from a dysfunctional family.

Not even when he used to spent it with the Novotnys did he have fun. Justin had somehow convinced him to have a small tree on the counter the previous year, but no other decoration bullshit.

Christmas with Lindsay and Melanie was an experience. There was a huge tree, which he and Gus had spent three hours to decorate, there were lights on the house, which Melanie had hung, there were cookies and mistletoe and carols. It smelled like Christmas, and for the first time in his life, Brian enjoyed the holiday.

He laughed at Gus's cheerfulness over each present he unwrapped, squealing about how much he needed whatever he got. He loved the panda suit Brian got him. He couldn't wait to take the sleigh from his moms to a ride outside. He vowed to drink only from the rainbow cup he got from Emmett. The coloring book from Debbie and Carl worked perfectly with the new crayolas he got from Michael and Ben. Even Ted and Blake got him a present, The Nutcracker on DVD.

Being the polite little kid, Gus insisted to call everyone and thank them.

On the second day of Christmas, Michael and Ben surprised them with a visit. They couldn't stay overnight, but they had to see their honeybun.

While they stayed with JR, Melanie took Gus out on his new sleigh, and Lindsay seized the opportunity to have a talk with Brian.

They went to the park, which was a fifteen minutes away walk.

She was hanging on his arm, watching her steps carefully on the icy paths, unsure how to broach the subject.

Brian cleared his throat, sighing heavily. "Do you remember Evan Steele?"

"The name sounds familiar," she said, surprised he was talking on his own, without being prompted.

"My first boss," Brian explained.

"Right. The guy you thought you loved."

"And remember how he left for New York?"

"That's different from Justin. He didn't leave you.."

Brian jerked them to a stop, shoving his hands in his pockets. "He frequents the bar Justin is working in. He used to harass Justin, trying to get in his pants."

"Small world." Lindsay shrugged. "Wait. You're saying this because…"

"When I surprised him back at the beginning of November with my visit for his show, Evan was there. We haven't seen each other since then, thirteen years ago. We kept seeing each other since he goes to Raging Bull. Then he invited me to that convention in Miami."

"Oh my God!" Lindsay's hand went to her mouth. "Is this headed where I think it is?"

"We fucked. Three times. Four, if a blow job counts for fucking too. I tried resisting him. You have no idea how hard I tried, but somewhere along his insisting...I caved. Because I'm weak and the biggest jerk on Earth."

"Does Justin know?"

"Why do you think we're not speaking anymore?" Brian scoffed, walking away.

Lindsay caught up with him, grabbing his elbow. "But it was a mistake. You weren't thinking straight. I remember how...infatuated you were with this man."

"A mistake happens only once, Linz. I allowed him to fuck me three time."

"He… You… Top…"

Brian rolled his eyes. "Yes. Evan topped me. The problem here is that Justin sensed something was wrong since he saw our interaction at the gallery. So I told him about our past. Then I promised him I wouldn't let Evan get between us. Next thing he knows is me betraying his trust."

"Shit, Brian."

"He'll never forgive me. I lost him forever."

"Don't say this. Please, don't say this. You two…"

"Are over," Brian finished her sentence. "I fucked it up, Wendy. There's no going back."

They continued walking aimlessly in silence for a while.

"Swear to me, you won't repeat what I just told you to anyone," Brian said, swallowing uneasily.

Lindsay scoffed. "I won't even tell Mel. I have a feeling I'm the only one who knows exactly what happened."

"You are," Brian confirmed. "I didn't even tell Mikey. He wouldn't understand. Being judged is the last thing I want right now."

"Oh, but I'm judging you, and I want to punch you for hurting Justin...and yourself. You were so reckless and stupid, but it's all in the past." She snuggled closer, hugging him around the waist. "I'm here if you ever want to talk about this more."

"I don't know if I want to talk about it more. I thought I'd tell you, because you've been in my shoes. You fucked that Sam guy, and had that fallout with Melanie."

"Jeez. Should I be thankful for my own lapse of judgement, because it made you confess in me?"

"Linz, you understand how I feel."

She looked up into his sad hazel eyes. "Well, I hope nothing too dramatic will bring you back together...like our near death experience with Babylon."

"Don't worry. I'm working on a plan."

"And what's the plan?"

"I don't know yet." Brian shrugged, making her laugh.

They returned home in the evening, expecting to find chaos. Lindsay joked that Mel couldn't keep Gus in line, which was a surprise to Brian.

Nothing too dramatic was waiting for them inside the house.

Michael was with JR on the couch, playing. Gus was on the carpet, coloring. Ben was in the kitchen, having banished everyone so he could cook dinner.

"Where's Mel?" Lindsay inquired, amused. Gus must have worn her out on their trip.

Gus was the one to answer, though. "Mama went to buy cocoa to make hot cocoa later. Do you like hot cocoa, Daddy?"

Everyone in the living room, turned to look expectantly at Brian, knowing he was reticent around sweets.

"I love hot cocoa," he declared, lounging next to his son.

Lindsay disappeared into the kitchen to help Ben.

Brian noticed how neat Gus was coloring and that neither design was filled outside the box. He wondered if Justin used to do the same when he was a child, and if Gus would turn out an artist one day.

"Can you not stare? I can't con...cons…" Gus frowned, stumbling over the complicated word.

"Concentrate?" Brian laughed. "Fine. I'll let you draw in peace." After ruffling his hair, he stood up and went to sit next to Michael.

"How's it going? Is Kinnetik ready to take over New York?" Michael asked, keeping his attention on JR. He held her hands as she stood on shaky legs on his lap, smiling at her daddy.

"I have a great office. I'm working on hiring the best people, while my teams from the Pitts work on my first big campaign."

"We barely see Ted. You're keeping him busy."

"He's been amazing. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, but he's the best."

"And he deserves a break once this whole thing is over."

"Trust me. The reservation for his holiday is a call away. My travel agent can work miracle within a few hours," Brian explained.

"You have a travel agent?" Michael asked, shocked.

"Yeah, he always finds me good hotels and last minute flights. I usually call him when I'm headed out of the state or out of the country."

Michael caught Brian's eye, gauging his feelings, not sure if it was wise to bring up the subject. Brian saw it immediately.

"Don't. We haven't talked," he said, before Michael could get his mouth running.

"He talked to Mom the other day."

"I bet. I shouldn't be surprised Debbie convinced him to give her the new number."

"Oh, that's why the number I have is not working? I wanted to call him yesterday, but the phone is out of service or something."

"Yeah, he changed the number." Brian shrugged. "But I don't want to talk about this. How's Honeycutt?"

Michael gave Brian a dubious look. "You really want to hear about Emmett?"

"Sure."

"Well, I'm sure you two could find common ground if you talked to him. He's immersed himself in party planning to avoid thinking of Drew. Sometimes, we see Drew at Woody's, or even at Babylon. He comes to greet us, but Emmett disappears in the crowd before Drew can reach us."

"I thought he was okay with this," Brian said, frowning. "It seemed he was taking Drew's side when he claimed his boyfriend was seventeen, which is about half of the age he actually he."

"Brian, Drew is new to our life. He's kept himself locked in the closet for years. Emmett pulled him out of there and guided him to our beautiful and bright world. You must understand how difficult it is for both of them."

"Why isn't Emmett telling Drew that he can't see him with others? I bet big bad Drew is actually a big softie. As for Honeycutt...we all know he's in over his head in this."

Michael stared at his best friend, surprised. He hadn't heard him speaking so nice of Emmett before. "Maybe you could talk to him?"

"Let's not push it."

Their attention was diverted from the conversation to JR, who became whiny, and Michael's bouncing seemed to worsen the situation. She kept twisting and turning, but Michael kept her on his lap, bouncing his knees, squeezing her to his chest.

"Did you think that maybe she wants to sit on her own on the couch?" Brian groaned exasperated, not ready for the wails to follow.

Softly, he extracted JR from her daddy, and placed her between them. The meltdown stopped before it could begin. She beamed at Brian. He smiled down at her, tickling her stomach, extracting giggles.

"How did you know what to do?" Michael demanded.

"I've done all this before you." He pointed to Gus. "I kept him a few times at the loft, if you remember. He was perfectly content to sit on the sofa, or on the bed between pillow and watch me, or play with his toys. I seriously don't understand why people do this when the child is ready to cry. Would you rather be shaken when you're about to bawl your eyes out, or when you're tired?"

"It soothes the babies."

"It aggravates them. Lindsay was always surprised that Gus never cried when he was with me, well unless he had one of his meltdowns, being a drama princess for no reason."

They were pulled from the conversation by Gus crawling on Brian's lap. He scowled at his sister for being near his daddy, before snuggling closer.

Melanie, who'd returned earlier, brought over cups of hot cocoa for everyone. Ben and Lindsay joined them in the living room, and they spent a peaceful evening. The normalcy of it, almost made Brian forget about his own depression, but he couldn't enjoy the time in family as much as if he had Justin by his side.

Not long after dinner time, Ben and Michael left, because Michael had his responsibility with the comic book store, and Ben had to grade some papers, so he could enjoy the rest of the break with his husband.

Brian stayed with the girls until a couple days before New Year, when he decided to return to New York.

Gus clung to him, crying crocodile tears about being abandoned and already missing Brian a lot. Brian hugged him tightly, promising to visit more often.

Brian's first stop when he landed in New York was the first open pub. On the forty-five minutes flight he'd realized a new year was coming and Justin still didn't seem amenable to talk to him, let alone think of forgiving him.

So Brian's solution was to drink his sorrows in the cheap booze. He lost track of how many drinks he consumed and what time it was, until the bartender asked if he wanted a cab. Brian rejected his offer, and with the man's help he sorted through the money he had to give him. The numbers and faces on the greens looked the same to Brian.

Brian found himself in front of the pub, sitting on the side of the road with the bottle of JB he'd gotten from the bartender. There was some liquid left on the bottom of the bottle.

It took him a few tries to find his phone in his jacket, before he dialed the first number he saw and the only person around available to help his drunken ass.

After many rings, Evan's groggy voice answered. " _Brian? The fuck? You know what time is it?_ "

"Y'av t'ome get me. I'm s'where near the air'ort."

" _Christ. Are you drunk?_ " Evan groaned.

"A little."

" _Try a fucking lot. And can you be more specific? Near the airport, where? Which airport?_ "

"JFK. A pub with pretty yellow lights."

" _Okay. Sit there. I'll come get you._ "

It started snowing while Brian waited for Evan to arrive, and it wasn't exactly warm, but he didn't seem to feel the cold.

Evan arrived relatively fast considering it was New Year's Eve and seven in the morning. He noticed the pub's lights flicking, and then he saw Brian huddled on the side of the road.

He pulled the car next to Brian, leaning to open the passenger door. The movement startled Brian, who looked up. To Evan's shock, his eyes were red and he looked like he'd been crying.

Evan hurried out of the car to help his friend in a standing position. "What happened? Are you okay?" It didn't seem to be a normal drinking night gone wrong.

Brian shook his arm free, not accepting help, as he stumbled into the car.

Evan shut the door, before getting back behind the wheel. He blasted hot air, keeping the engine on idle.

"Answer me. What the fuck happened?"

Brian turned to look at him, and it was as if he saw him for the first time. "Hey. 'sup?"

"How much did you drink?" Evan demanded.

Brian looked at his now empty bottle of JB, then at Evan, trying to remember the amount of alcohol he'd ingested. He ended up shrugging.

"Did you take Justin to Canada and it went wrong?"

Brian scoffed, turning to look out the window. "Take me home."

"Something must have happened to bring you in this deplorable state," Evan insisted.

" _You_ happened," Brian barked. "I did a lot of thinking in the past few hours. I wish I had never met you. I wish you didn't exist in my life. But you know what's funny? You're the only one I have right now. All my friends are miles away—some in the Pitts and some in Toronto."

Evan watched Brian, worried, as his friend worked on lighting himself a cigarette with shaky fingers and refusing help. Everything had escalated out of control, and it was all his fault.

"Brian, I told you how much I regret what happened in Miami. I'm sorry it all came to this, but I'm here if you need me. I promise to be only your friend if that's what you want."

"You can't be my friend. When I saw you at the gallery last month, I thought we'd become friends and you'd help me with opening Kinnetik here. You are those things, but you also managed to take away from me the only thing that kept me sane." Brian flicked ash in the Coke cup Evan had on the console between the seats, destined for cigarette ash. "You can't be my friend, or the kind of friend I need right now. I can't talk to you about what's driving me crazy."

"Of course you can. That's why I'm here. Like you said, I'm the only one you have in New York. Aside from…" He trailed off.

"And whose fault is it that Justin won't speak to me again? Look, Evan. I appreciate it, but we can't be friends. Just take me home."

"If I was one of your friends from back home, what would you have told me?"

Brian sniffed loudly, swallowing back the tears threatening to spill. "That I feel like the biggest asshole and profiteer on earth for still sticking around the man who ruined my relationship. It's like 'I hate you, but I love you' or 'go away, come back' kind of situation."

"You're following your dream. Despite everything that happened between us, you still need me to help you with Kinnetik. Everyone is acting for their own best interest. I know that you keep me around only to help you with your company, and I don't care. I know that if you had decided to not open a branch here, we'd have never spoken again."

Brian knuckled his forehead. "I'm getting tired of this conversation. Just take me home. I have better booze there."

"Do you want to spend New Year in the ER in an alcoholic coma?"

"If it helps me forget this heartache? Sure."

Evan decided against commenting on the sad confession, simply driving away. During the ride, he could see a few tears rolling down Brian's cheek, and decided it was time to interfere. He couldn't sit back and watch both Brian and Justin be miserable.

He'd seen Justin during his shifts at Raging Bull, and he looked downright depressed, not too far from how Brian looked at the moment.

Evan took Brian to his condo, not taking any argument from Brian's side. He could tell that the side effects from his drinking would show in a few hours.

Like predicted, not too long after Evan installed Brian in his guest room, he heard a commotion, letting him know Brian had run into the bathroom.

"Did you mix drinks too?" Evan scowled, as he helped Brian back to bed.

"I don't know," he slurred, coiling on his side, hugging the pillow to his chest. "I miss Justin."

Evan stared at him, amused. Brian had never struck him as that kind of drunk. He carefully sat next to Brian, squeezing his shoulder. "You should try talking to him. Apologize, and remind him nobody is a saint." Evan decided to keep to himself what he knew about their past, but Justin could give Brian the benefit of the doubt. They'd both cheated on each other at some point.

"I fucked up, Evan. He will never forgive me. I promised him not to fuck you, and...that's what I did. If I put my head to it, I could have denied you. I know my limits."

"But you were curious," Evan whispered.

"Why the fuck do we have feelings? Why the fuck did Justin have to make me feel? I was perfectly fine in my non-feeling world."

"I wouldn't know what you're talking about. I never was in love, but of what I hear it's a wonderful feeling," he said softly.

"It's something sent from Hell to torment me. I fucking hate love. It brings only pain. For the longest time that's the only word I could relate to love, because of my beloved family. Then I made friends, and realized it wasn't about pain. And then...well...I met Justin." Brian glanced up to Evan, a small smile appearing on his lips. "I found a new word to associate with love—Justin. My Sunshine." His smile slipped, tears spilling from his eyes. "Now he's gone...and love is pain again."

Before Evan could find something to say to that confession, he realized Brian had fallen asleep.

A few hours of pondering what was wise to do, he called Ollie to see if Justin worked that night. When he got an affirmative answer, he was out the door in five minutes. It was time to be selfless and repair what he'd broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to cover everything I might have missed in the main story in these chapters.
> 
> See you tomorrow with the big reunion in NYSoM. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured posting this after reunion in the main story will explain Evan better. It's short, but I hope you get to understand him a little more.
> 
> This conversation takes place the weekend following Evan's business proposal to Brian, when Justin returned the brushes.

Evan left Brian's office, surprised his friend didn't know his hellcat. Or maybe he was afraid to go down that lane, but he had to swallow his pride and show his hellcat he still loved him.

When Brian had told him the previous week that he'd bought those expensive brushes, Evan knew that Justin would return them. He'd tried telling Brian, but Brian had none of it, got defensive and hung up on him.

It was time for serious interfering. He was even ready to step away if his presence would somehow be an impediment in their reunion. Apple account be damned, his friend's happiness was more important. Evan could proposition Jerry to work on Apple together; they've been friends for years and had dabbled at working together over the years. Jerry's company was pretty big and known in the city, unlike Brian's.

That following weekend, Evan invited Brian to his favorite restaurant, Cafe Select, for brunch. Brian had commented with an eyeroll that brunch sounded so fancy, but he accepted the invitation nonetheless. Evan knew he needed to go out, and since all his friends were back in Pittsburgh, and the only one he knew in the city wasn't talking to him, it was his duty to take him out and make sure Brian socialized.

They were seated in a quiet corner, for which Evan was grateful. He needed peace and quiet for what he wanted to tell Brian. They placed their orders, Tropical Quinoa Breakfast Bowl, which consisted of coconut milk, chia seeds, roast nuts and fruits, roasted coconut, for Evan and Fried Halloumi, which was over roasted tomatoes, sauteed spinach, poached eggs, tomato relish and field greens, for Brian; both sided with coffee.

"Okay, now tell me why we're here," Brian said once their waiter was gone.

"Can't I invite my friend out for brunch?"

"We're not friends, Evan."

"We're celebrating your call from last night to announce me that we're becoming business partners."

"Try again." Brian glared over his glass of water.

Evan sighed. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Brian scowled, leaning back on his chair. "What," he barked, his defenses raising. He hoped this wasn't a date in Evan's head, because that was the last thing he wanted.

"About us...about me, actually."

"What the fuck? There's no us. The only us there will ever be is us being business partners."

"I want to tell you about how I became the person that I am. I don't want you making my mistakes, and as much as you might not believe me, I want to help you get back together with Justin. I know when to step back. I know when I overstepped an invisible line."

"The line was very much visible and solid," Brian snapped.

"Are you willing to hear me out?" Evan asked quietly.

Brian waved a hand, telling him without words to proceed.

"I can't help but notice similarities between us, and if this would have made happy some time ago now it shows me that you paid maybe too much attention at how I acted back then."

"What the fuck are you talking about," Brian demanded. He nodded mutely to the waiter, bringing their food.

Evan sighed. "You've become a lot like me, and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes."

"I hate to break it to you, Steele, but we're nothing alike."

"No shit? What did you tell me about fucking around, never the same guy, until you met Justin? You never got attached to anyone. And I could bet all my money that you even tried rejecting the attraction you felt toward Justin in the beginning. But the little hellcat got under your skin. Am I right?"

"I'll have you know that I've been around before I met you, but as you must have guessed, for unknown reasons, I liked you a lot. I still don't know what I saw in you, but I liked you and I stuck around, taking all the crap you gave me. When you left, you hurt me, Evan. You proved to me that feeling something toward someone else brought only pain in the end. It was something I already knew from my family, but I'd grown to think I might have it wrong."

"I'm really sorry I broke your trust that way. We never got to know each other better."

"I wonder why that is. We only fucked, Evan. For you, I was just a fuck, a hot commodity at your disposal. I was too young and stupid to see it."

"And you'll never know how much I regret hurting you that way. I only realized what we had was a little more than casual sex when I found myself here, in this big city, trying to make my way in the ad world. I missed our quarrels. I missed calling your name, and for you to appear in my office within the second like an eager pup. I missed waking up next to you."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Let me not believe you. It took me a few days to get back on track to push your memory to the back of my mind. Though, I started frequenting the backroom of Babylon and the Baths more than usual."

"I take part of the blame for the way you acted, though I'm happy you met Justin."

"Can we not talk about him? Have a little respect, Steele."

"But he's the reason why we're having this conversation. I want to help you get back together."

"If you must know, I started sending him flowers. I hope he will figure out it's me, but it's so unlike me that he won't guess."

Evan took a few bites of his food, chewing slowly, arranging his thoughts.

"When I saw you at the gallery, at his show…" He said quietly.

"Oh, yeah. Let's not think of how you bothered him, but when you saw me, you completely forgot about him and remembered about little ol' me." Brian glared.

"That's what I wanted to say. You can't accuse me for trying to get in his pants. Your hellcat is one hot piece of ass."

Brian gripped his knife, narrowing his eyes at Evan. "Say one more thing like that, and I will stab you right here, right now!"

"But then I saw you again. I had no idea how much I've missed you until then. All the lust I'd ever felt toward you, was back with a vengeance. I had to have you again," Evan admitted.

"Even when you saw how happy Justin and I were? You fucking saw us for a whole fucking week, Evan! I planned to branch out only to be with him here. I knew I couldn't do the long distance relationship. We've always been more physical. Not seeing him, not touching him, not knowing he was well, would have driven me up the wall."

Evan felt another stab of guilt at Brian's words. "I was an idiot to keep insisting, to push you into something it was clear you desired, but tried resisting because you'd promised loyalty to Justin. I guess I knew your weak spots and used it to my advantage."

"We're both equally guilty, Evan. I know I could have stopped you, but I chose not to. You're right, I was curious and everything you did and said reminded me of our trip back then, of our time together all those years ago."

"I never had what you and Justin had, but I know love when I see it. If you two don't manage to work it out somehow, I will always hate myself for what I've done." Evan reached across the table to cover Brian's hand, but he jerked it away. "I really care for you, Brian. I only want us to be friends, if you'd have me."

"If, and that's a big IF, Justin ever forgives me, it's up to him if you're still welcome in my life. Knowing him, he'd say yes because we're business partners and my job is important."

"I'd accept anything you decide. And if you kick me to the curb, I'll understand."

Brian nodded slowly. They ate in silence for several minutes, before Brian caught Evan's eye.

"Can I ask something?"

"Anything."

"Besides having one last hooray fuck with me, why did you try so hard to pursue me?"

Evan contemplated his answer for a second, before going with the truth. "I'm not the young stud I once was. Your Justin's blatant refusals were a big blow to my ego, and when you didn't seem interested as well, even though I knew you once were more than interested, it made me want to try harder."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Brian snorted in his napkin.

"I'm nearing fifty, Brian. I doubt I'll find someone at this age, but when the regular tricks turn you down in clubs, even old acquaintances, it's time to question your hotness."

"You can always pay for it," Brian suggested with a smirk.

"Just wait until you're my age and you have to work ten times harder to maintain your looks."

"Hopefully, I'll have Justin's forgiveness by then. He will never care how I look when I'm fifty, and if I ever doubt myself, he'll know a way to bring me up."

"And that my friend, is love."

"I know," Brian whispered, staring into his plate, unseeing. "You have no idea how much I want this plan to work. Justin always liked romantic stuff."

"What can I say besides good luck? Let me know how it works."

Brian nodded, picking at his food. He cleared his throat. "Evan?" He looked up into Evan's gray eyes. "Thank you...for sharing this with me."

"I figured it was time I came clean."

"I understand that you're sorry for what happened in Miami, but no one is sorrier than me. Though, no words or romantic gestures will ever erase the memory of what I've done. I know that a part of Justin will never forgive me, even if he decides to return to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you'll love this chapter. Brian meets his purry friend for the first time. He also has a talk with his number one fan.

It was late on a Friday night, and Brian was in his condo.

Instead of being out at some club, like in his glory days back in Pittsburgh, he was home, Googling pet stores. He decided to question his sanity later, but he was determined to get a cat for Justin. The lad had always begged him to get a pet, mostly hinting at a cat than at a dog, so Brian knew what would be the next gift Justin received.

The flowers would keep coming, but he wanted to give him something special, like the trip to the museum from the previous weekend. He'd gone there as well, and was beyond relieved to see Justin with Daphne, not some other man. Especially not his Art Director, who he came close to detest when he found out Roger had tried to get Justin to go out with him.

Brian was distracted from his murderous thoughts toward his Art Director when his eyes fell on a picture of a small, black kitten with big blue eyes. That particular shade of blue reminded Brian of Justin's eyes when he was excited about one thing or another.

As Brian saved the store's number in his phone, he was startled when it started ringing. It took him a moment to realize he hadn't dialed any number, but an unknown number was calling him.

For a wild second, Brian thought it was Justin's new number, and his boy was calling after discovering it was him sending the flowers.

"Hello," Brian answered quietly, unsure who to expect on the other end of the line.

" _Uh, hi. Brian?_ " A woman's voice asked uncertainly.

Brian turned the volume of the music he was listening to, a few notches lower. "Yes. Who is this?"

" _Now, I'm wounded you didn't recognize me,_ " the woman teased.

"Should I?" He had half a mind to hang up, because she didn't sound like Lindsay or Melanie, or even Cynthia.

" _You're damn hard to get a hold of. It took a lot of bribing to get Michael to give me your number_ ," she added.

"Daphne?" Brian asked, shocked, finally recognizing her voice.

" _Took your sweet time. Here I thought, us, twins separated at birth by years would immediately know who they were talking to._ "

Brian laughed loudly, pushing his laptop away, lounging on the couch and lighting himself a smoke. "Where do you come up with such shit?"

" _That's what Justin used to say when I did or said something that reminded him of you, because we're so freaking similar._ "

"Well then, my long lost twin, that I didn't even know I had, to what do I owe the pleasure of a late night phone call?"

" _You're not busy, right?_ " She checked.

"Nope. A quiet night at home," Brian admitted.

" _Oh, I heard the music and thought you were out._ "

"That's my new audio system with surround sound. Since I'm miles away from Babylon, I thought I'd bring it to my home." He paused for a few moments. "Besides, I don't feel like going out much."

" _It's you, isn't it?_ " Daphne said after a few breaths.

Brian already knew what she meant. "Yes." He gulped loudly at feeling so naked suddenly. He wasn't used to talk feelings.

" _I knew it!_ " She cried out, just as Brian added quietly, "Does he know?"

" _Sorry, what did you say?_ " She asked.

Brian cleared his throat. "I asked whether… if Justin knows...did he figure it out?"

" _Ah, no. He thinks it's some secret admirer. Artists were always insane, and he's at the top of the list. I think he's falling in love with his secret admirer, but it might be his subconscious telling him it's you and it's safe to fall in love with the person sending him flowers and chocolate and tickets to the freaking Dali exhibition!_ "

"What," Brian gasped. "He doesn't know it's me, but he's falling for an unknown person? I know it's me, but seriously...it could have been some lunatic."

" _Don't go there. Both Izzy and I have tried to explain it can be a sociopath, but you know Justin._ " She laughed. " _What's the next step?_ "

"More flowers?"

" _Do you plan to send him flowers for the rest of his life?_ "

"Well yes, but I'd rather give them to him...when he's back in my life."

" _And how, pray tell do you plan to get him back? Seriously, Brian, he's been pretty shaken by everything. As much as I'm mad at you, I'm mad at him too. I hate taking sides, but he's my best friend, and you hurt him quite badly._ "

"For which I'd fucking grovel at his feet if it meant he forgave me."

Daphne's breath hitched. " _I never thought I'd hear you say that. You must love him a lot._ "

"More than I can understand, but I heard love is irrational...so let's not try finding a reason. I simply love Justin, Daphne. And trust me, I'm hurt too. I'd never forgive me if I were him."

She sighed loudly. " _I have no idea if he'll forgive you, Brian. When he finds out it's you...I'm sure you realize it can go both ways—either, he's exhilarated, or he turns his back...forever._ "

Brian tried not to let panic envelop him. "I'm hoping for the first."

" _Me too. So, tell me what do you have in store for him? It has to be awfully romantic._ "

"The last step is a dinner, but I haven't decided yet when."

" _He has quite a big show planned in April, maybe then?_ "

"That's so soon...a couple weeks away." Brian glanced at his laptop, smiling when he saw the kitten in the picture. "Do you think he'd like a cat?"

" _What?_ "

"I want to buy him a cat," Brian explained.

" _Justin told me that you bought him expensive brushes and he returned them._ "

"This time, he doesn't know it's me," Brian insisted.

" _I'll say pass to this idea. Maybe later? When you get him back._ "

Brian scowled, not liking her idea. He'd stick to his plan.

Silence stretched between them for a few moments, while they were both lost in their thoughts.

" _How's the new account going,_ " Daphne finally broke the silence.

"Pretty good. Evan is driving me crazy, but it's nothing new. I've worked with him before."

" _Is it a good idea to keep him around?_ "

"No, but it's what it is. I seriously thought about this...and it makes me a complete shit, but this account is huge. I mean, it's fucking Apple, Daphne. True, I'm working with Evan, he's around most of the time, but I don't give a flying fuck about him. He's only a business partner."

" _Justin would have understood and accepted this situation before, but now...I'm not so sure. After what you did, I doubt he'd accept you working with Evan. Especially when I hear he loves to boast about the way you two work together when he's at the bar._ "

"Fucking jerk," Brian spat. "I fucking told him to stop going there!"

She laughed. " _It's his favorite bar. It's like someone would come to you and deny you to go to Babylon or Woody's. I told Justin to quit Raging Bull. He's earning a pretty penny with his paintings now, and he has a few commissions lined up, the new show…_ "

Brian snorted. "Justin's too proud to quit his job because Evan is there. He'd rather suffer through it, than quit."

" _I guess you're right. Anyway, think twice before you take the final step in getting him back. Be sure he knows exactly what to expect from your relationship and that you have some of his trust, before you tell him that Evan is sort of permanent in your life._ "

"He's definitely not permanent. I plan on keeping this partnership between our companies in case such opportunities for big accounts might arise in the future, but he will never be more than a business partner. There was a time when I thought I could call him a friend, but that ship has long since sailed."

" _I wish Justin would be amenable to talk about you. I'd love to tell him some of these things. Of course, in a way that he wouldn't suspect we'd talked._ "

"You can always try, but I'd rather talk to him about these things...whenever he'd accept me around him, close enough to hear me out...and then if he's willing to listen to me, I'd explain everything, trying not to sound like a pathetic asshole."

" _Give him a little more time. I think he already suspects something. You're the only one who knows about his love for Dali. He has to put one and one together. Justin is pretty smart,_ " Daphne said gently, not liking Brian's sad voice. " _If I can do anything...let me know._ "

After a beat, while Brian contemplated his answer, he replied. "Could you give me his new number?"

" _Whoa! That's not what I expected._ "

"You don't have to. I mean...I respect his wish to cut all strings attached to me."

" _I'll text it to you once we hang up._ "

"Really? Thank you so much."

" _But you must promise not to call him at midnight, change your voice and make him fall for his secret admirer,_ " she chided him.

Brian laughed loudly. "Don't worry. I won't. I don't plan on calling him yet… I just want his number."

" _Okay. I'll give you the number. Uh, I hate to put an end to our call, but it's late and I start early,_ " she said softly.

"Yeah, me too. Thanks for the phone call, Daphne. It was nice hearing from you."

" _Now that you have my number, don't be a stranger. Keep me updated on your side of things, because Justin will sure as hell keep me updated with his pretty flowers and delicious chocolates he gets from you._ "

"What can I say? I know the way to his heart is through his stomach...thus the sweets, and of course the flowers are for the hopeless romantic inside him."

" _That was so profound, Kinney!_ " Daphne laughed. " _Talk to you soon._ "

"Yeah, sure. Good night."

Once they hung up, Daphne sent him Justin's new number, adding the words 'use it wisely', to which Brian replied with a 'thank you' and a smiley face.

He went to bed that night, knowing his plan was shaping up quite nicely. If he could woo Justin the right way, he might give him the dinner date after his show at the gallery, and hopefully have him back in his arms by the end of that night.

The next morning, Brian went to the pet store after a detour to Starbucks.

He walked aimlessly through the cages, searching for the kitten he'd seen on his computer, and when he was about to lose hope, he saw the black furball. He was tiny and coiled up at the far end of his cage, but his big blue eyes stared warily at Brian.

"Can I help you, sir?" The young clerk offered, approaching the potential customer.

Brian smiled at the young girl. "Yes. I'd like this kitten."

She jiggled a bunch of keys, opened the cage, scooped up the frightened cat and deposited it on Brian's free hand.

He jiggled between the kitten and his coffee, managing not to drop either of them. A weak meow escaped the cat as he looked up at Brian, as if begging him to take him away.

"Oh, he likes you. He had a few potential owners, but was always violent when they tried touching him."

Brian smirked. "I guess he was waiting for me. Let's pay for this little guy," he said, nodding to the cash register.

"Do you have supplies for him? Maybe you'd like to look at the cots, the anti-fleas collar, food…" The girl suggested.

"Shit. You sure need a lot of stuff," Brian mumbled, looking down at the kitten. "Sure, lead the way," he told the girl. He might as well buy everything for the cat, and send everything to Justin.

An hour later, Brian had the cat in a carry cage, a big bag with his bed, a sandbox, different types of food, several collars, and a few toys. He'd spent on the cat more than he'd spent on Gus the last time they were out shopping.

At home, Brian installed the box with sand in the downstairs bathroom, before taking the kitten out of the cage.

"You'll piss and poop here until I figure out how to send you to your owner." He pointed to the sand box. "And your bed will be here," he added, as he pulled out the cot out of the bag and arranged it between the stairs and the open kitchen area.

Next, Brian poured some granules in one of the bowls, then water in the other, and went to his laptop.

He was too used to be alone, and jumped every time he heard the small claws and soft pads on the hardwood floors, especially when the cat decided to play with one of his new toys.

Brian looked over the back of the sofa, laughing when he saw the kitten rolling around, tangled up in the small yarn. He tried clawing his way out, hissing.

"Christ. You're a little troublemaker."

He scooped the cat up, slowly untangling the yarn from around the small body. During the complicated process, the intercom rang, making the cat grab with his claws at Brian's shirt.

"Hey! Not my Armani shirt, you asshole." He pressed the button to speak with who was downstairs. "Yeah?"

"Let me up. I got an idea," Evan announced.

Too tired to fight, Brian allowed him in, returning to the task of untangling the cat. When Evan knocked at the door, Brian had managed to free the cat, and was holding him against his chest.

Evan's eyes widened when he noticed something small and furry in Brian's hand. "What's that?"

"Hello to you too," Brian muttered, stepping aside to let him in. He peered at the trembling kitten. "Looks like a cat."

"Yeah, but what are you doing with a cat? I didn't take you as a pet person."

Brian closed the door, heading to his laptop. He sat on the sofa with the kitten on his lap. "It's not mine."

"You're pet sitting?"

"It's for Justin. I just need to figure out a way to send it to him." Brian stroked a finger over the cat's head, making him purr.

Evan laughed loudly. "You want to send him a cat? This is something alive that might not be impressed to be dumped on your desk, like the brushes."

"He won't return the cat."

"Brian, think about it. If the brushes were too much, this is over the top. You should take him back."

"Fuck off. You don't know shit. Now, why are you here?"

Evan showed him a flash drive. "Look what I did last night with Nigel."

"Kinky. Is this a sex tape?" Brian joked.

"It's the rough sketch for the storyboards." Evan rolled his eyes, sitting next to Brian. He glanced at the kitten, curled on Brian's lap, purring quietly as Brian petted him absently.

It was Brian who needed the cat more than Justin. Of what Evan could see, Brian liked the kitten and was surprisingly tolerant of the hair it left on his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who loves the cat more than before? :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The much anticipated chapter - THE TALK!

Justin walked after Brian up the stairs of his condo, looking around at the expensive furniture and tastefully decorated place. His attention was drawn suddenly to Brian's ass, when he bent to grab the cat. The kitten had somehow managed to reach the top of the stairs before them, and was purring loudly.

"No, no. You're sleeping in your bed tonight."

Justin stifled a smile at Brian talking to the cat.

"I'll show him to his bed in case he forgot it. Make yourself comfortable," Brian said, going back the way they came.

Brian's bedroom was the only door open. There was a large middle bed seated on a plush carpet, a nightstand on each side, and a large dresser on the far wall.

Justin went to the tall windows, enjoying the view to Central Park at night. His fingers twitched at the majestic landscape, wishing he had the time to paint it.

_There will be time for that later_ , he reminded himself.

"Breathtaking, I know." Brian's voice from right behind him, startled him.

Justin tilted his head to the side, smiling at Brian. "Yes. I've always been fascinated with Central Park for some reason. It's so mystic and romantic and simply gorgeous."

"Did you have time to explore it even a tiny bit?"

"When Daphne was here, but not much. I went for a walk after work a couple of times, but again, I was too tired to enjoy the beauty of it." He especially left out the part when they'd bumped into each other on Christmas.

"Don't worry. We'll make time to see some of it." Brian stroked his fingers through Justin's hair.

Justin could see how nervous Brian was through the reflection in the window. He had rarely seen Brian nervous.

Swallowing his own nerve, Justin turned around slowly, interlacing his fingers with Brian's. He met his wary hazel eyes. "I don't want to go to bed tonight without talking."

"Aren't you tired?"

"I'm beat, but if we postpone this more, we'll never get around to discuss it. Please. Think of it like a bandaid over a fresh bruise. It has to be done, in order for us to get better, to move forward." Justin pleaded.

"All right. Can we at least get comfortable? Do you mind if we talk about this in bed?" Brian asked, tugging Justin toward it.

"Sure. I'm even going to get out of these stuffy clothes." Justin smiled, pulling his tie free from the knot.

When they were down to their underwear, they got under the blanket, backs resting against the headboard.

"Okay…" Brian drawled, angling his body toward Justin.

"So…" Justin lifted a brow. "Where do we start?"

"My trip seems like a good idea?" Brian shrugged.

"I was thinking… Maybe you could tell me a little more from before… From when you were his employee… I want to understand more about what that pseudo-relationship meant," Justin said softly.

"Before I begin, I want to remind you that I'm not good at this...talking. Also, whatever happened, it's all in the past and I regret it like nothing else before," Brian declared seriously.

Justin nodded.

Brian took the silence as a good sign to start his story. "I was fresh out of college. It was my first real job. I was a mass of nerves. Evan was a real ass. He didn't make it easy for me."

"Do bosses ever make it easy for the fresh meat?" Justin snorted, shaking his head.

"It was horrible. I didn't even have my office, or a desk. I worked from a table in the cafeteria. He always mocked my ideas, even when they were amazing and exactly what he was looking for. We used to have these huge fights, that sent everyone in hiding." Brain smiled at the memory. "He got under my skin so easily, I wanted to rip his head off and give him a swift kick in the ass to send him flying from the tall building we were working in."

"Killing the boss so you could take his position? Smart."

Brian grinned, but sombered. "Well, it culminated with a trip to Dallas where Evan had to close the deal with a bank, if I remember correctly." He cleared his throat, staring at his lap. "You have to understand that I've always leaned on being an asshole, but if you ask Mikey, I wasn't like when you met me from the beginning. Bad experiences and life made me close up and refuse any kind of attention from anyone."

"I figured that. I mean, I bet your upbringing had a great deal to do with the man you've become. Though, I sometimes wondered what hardened you like that, what made you fear being attracted to someone," Justin said softly, turning Brian's head to him with a gentle finger under his chin. "Because I could tell you liked me, but you were scared to acknowledge it, let alone show me, nevermind tell me."

"Yeah, well. Part of the blame is on my family, and part of the blame is on Evan. Before I met him, I used to frequent Babylon as much as you know. They were all meaningless fucks. I never cared for the men I was with, not even the ones I allowed to fuck me."

"What? You mean…" Justin's eyes widened.

Brian smirked. "Of course, I took it up the ass. Might I remind you that I was about your age now? I loved sex, not that I don't love it now too, but then I craved it...in every form possible."

"And you stopping to bottom has something to do with... _Evan_?" Justin spat the name as if it was poison.

"More or less. Let me continue the story, before either of us falls asleep. I told you about the way I was so you'll understand why I tried to make him have fun on our trip. He was this strict, uptight bastard, but I could tell he could be a fun guy too. Might as well enjoy our time there, right? I figured he batted for my team during our plane ride, so I had common ground, at least.

I took him skating. He didn't fall, like I expected, since he was reluctant to do it from lack of previous experience. We had so much fun on the ice ring. It was the kind of fun I usually had with Michael, but I was surprised I could actually make Evan smile and enjoy himself. It was a welcomed feeling, aside from our screaming sessions back in Pittsburgh."

Justin chewed on his lower lips, listening intently, trying to put himself in Brian's shoes and imagine how he must have felt back then. The more he thought of Brian actually enjoying Evan's company, made him sick at the stomach.

"When we went to the conference center, he abandoned me in order to talk business with the managers of the bank. I was left to spread portfolios on the seats and stay out of his way. It hurt like hell. It was my idea he was pitching. I expected to at least be introduced to the men and praised. The more time passed, the angrier I got.

Only when we returned to our hotel room, I followed him in the bathroom, seething. I think he wanted to take a bath. I don't know how it happened. One moment we were shouting at the top of our lungs, the other, we were drenched, tangled up in the bathtub."

"Did you fuck there?" Justin wasn't sure how he found his voice to ask.

Brian's eyes met Justin's, and he nodded. He decided to leave out the details, because it would bring only pain for both of them. "I was stupid to think we had something when we returned home, and I spent the night at his place. He ignored me, and it drove me crazy. He even dared to bring tricks in his office, until I confronted him. It was late at night. We were working on some new campaign. After another monstrous fight, he pushed me to a side door of his office. I was sure he was going to fire me, and that there was a short way to the elevator."

"Yeah, right. Like he'd have lost a valuable man like you. You're a god in the ad world," Justin interjected.

"The door connecting his office with mine had my name on it….and I found out, it had had it for a long time. I went into my new office, slamming the door into his face, satisfied to be away from his annoying self. When I spun around, he was behind me. There was a door leading to the hallway," Brian explained, rolling his eyes. "He decided to give me more false hope by christening my desk. Though, after that...every time we were staying after hours, we always ended up locked in his or my office." Brian paused, searching Justin's eyes.

"And…" Justin drawled.

"And we kept doing this...whatever it was. Late hours at the office, sometimes at his place… I knew he had others on the side, but he always called me when…."

"When the others were busy, or because you were at hand?" Justin finished for him. "I'm starting to understand what you mean by Evan turning you into who you were when we met. When I first saw him, I could see similarities between you two, without even knowing you two were aware of the other's existence."

"The way you behaved when we met, acting like my shadow...I was worse. I made sure to always be available when he needed me. You had some common sense to deny me a few times, I was shameless. I missed dates with Mikey and Lindsay, family dinners at Deb's, nights out with the gang...all because Evan wanted me to drop by."

"Then he left," Justin concluded.

"I was the last to find out. Everyone was walking on eggshells around me all day. Evan was nowhere in sight. Then I found out he was selling the company to Ryder. You know Ryder."

Justin nodded in confirmation, realizing for how long Brian's had worked there.

"I went to his condo, ready to raise hell. He was fucking some guy. I think I scared him away with my screaming. I didn't give a fuck about the guy. When I was alone with Evan, I turned on to him, full of rage and hate. He was leaving the next day to New York. He told me, I could get whatever I wanted from his loft and that I had time to get my own stuff scattered around."

"You had clothes at his house?" Justin gasped, realizing how serious it had been.

"Some, for when we went together at work."

"Let me guess...you were the only one who stayed the night."

"Justin, don't do this. It's not like…. It's nothing like our relationship. I know I cared for you to some extent from the first moment. He didn't. Though...when he left me there in the middle of his condo after his confession, I could tell he actually might have felt something for me."

Justin drew his knees to his chest. "I know what you mean. That's what I thought when I looked at you one last time before I left with Ethan. I wondered if you'd ever felt something for me, because in that moment I doubted everything I knew about you," he said in a small voice.

"I admitted to myself that I loved you when I came to your prom."

Justin smiled, catching Brian's eyes. "It feels like a lifetime ago."

Brian took Justin's hand, squeezing it. "To wrap up this part of our past...let me say that what happened now in Miami…"

Justin froze, having almost forgotten what they were originally talking about.

"Evan came onto me from every direction possible. I kept him at arm's length, reminding him I had a boyfriend who I loved more than my life." He pulled Justin close, rubbing a hand over his shoulder. "After the presentation, I ordered Champagne for myself in my room to celebrate. He brought it, and I have no know how he did it. After more pushing from him and insistent touches and tugs at clothes… Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"No." Justin burrowed closer.

"I caved, because I'm fucking weak. All his pushing and his words reminded me of the past, and I was curious. It felt like the Devil on my shoulder pushed me to sin and give in the temptation, while the Angel on my other shoulder reminded me of my promise to you and that it wasn't worth it to throw our relationship out the window for a meaningless fuck."

"Like always, the Devil won," Justin mumbled.

"You have no idea how sorry I am, Justin. I know you'll never forgive me, or trust me completely again, but this promise I intend to keep. I will never hurt you again."

"You're right. I don't know how I can trust you again, but I know you. I love you so much, and I've missed you like crazy even though it hurt like fuck to even think of you. I'm willing to give this another shot," Justin confessed. "I mean, seriously. I wouldn't have had dinner with you if I didn't give you a second chance."

Brian wrapped both arms around Justin, crushing him to his chest. "Thank you."

Justin placed a hand on Brian's chest, looking up into his eyes. "Please, don't make me regret this. I don't know how to live without you, Brian. I can't just stop loving you. And believe me, I've tried."

"I promise," Brian vowed, cupping Justin's cheek and leaning for a kiss. "I love you, Justin."

"I love you too." Justin's smile lit up his face. "We still have some more to talk about your contract with his company, but I'm going to trust you to keep it professional."

"Don't worry about that. All we do is fight about this new challenge."

Justin burrowed his face into Brian's neck, stifling a yawn. "I guess I'm pretty tired. I've been so busy with this show. I barely slept."

"Then, let's try sleeping."

They lowered on the bed, still holding on to each other.

In the silence that settled, a giggle erupted from Justin's throat, making Brian grunt sleepily.

"I can't believe you aren't trying to fuck me."

"It's not always about sex," Brian said seriously, kissing the top of Justin's head.

"Since when? What have you done with my Brian?"

"Do you seriously want to fuck now?"

"Well, no. I mean, I do, but...I don't." Justin laughed. "That came out wrong."

"I know what you mean," Brian said into Justin's hair. "We'll have time for make-up sex tomorrow. Tonight was reserved for talking and regaining some of your trust."

"Thank you," Justin whispered. He snuggled closer to Brian, resting his cheek against Brian's shoulder. "I should have allowed you to explain yourself from the very first time, but I was blinded by rage and betrayal."

"I understand. I wish we could wipe out what happened, but we can't."

"We've learned a lot from your mistake, and we're going to try and move on. Believe me, if it wasn't you, I wouldn't have given you a second chance. But I know you far too well."

Brian squeezed him tightly. "Love you, Sunshine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's what you expected. It was hard to write this...so leaving this as the conclusion of the spin-off for New York State of Mind.
> 
> We only have left the final chapter for the main story, which will be written soon hopefully. It's particularly difficult to end this story, which has been so hard to write to begin with.

**Author's Note:**

> I might add more to this as the story progresses, so you'll get a better grasp of Evan's character.
> 
> Anxiously waiting for your response on this insight.


End file.
